You are Mr. Hairy, a barber who has a passionate respect for quality hair. One day, a customer with the hottest hair you've ever seen walks in. His name is Tony. He asks, "Can you give me a haircut?" You shake your head and said, "I'm afraid not. Your hair's too beautiful to cut." Tony's friend, Jason asks, "What about my hair?" You say, "You need a haircut." Jason angrily says, "What? You don't like my hair?" Jason angrily charges towards you and starts cutting off your hair. You push him off of you and say, "You ruined my haircut!" He responds, "Your hair looked ugly anyway." You sigh and say, " I guess it's all over now." You look at the wanted ads for a new career, you see the perfect thing: barber wanted, no experience necessary, will train. You go and meet and old barber with an army buzz cut. His name is Griz and he has shakey hands and poor eyesight. He agrees to train you on one condition: that you get his savings back from the bank. You have no choice but to say yes. You go to the bank and ask for Griz's savings. The bank teller asks your for identification. You present your bus pass, but this isn't enough. You show your library card, but the teller is unconvinced. You show them your NRA card and EBT card. This is not enough. You show them your Costco card and that is sufficient. > You say "Show me to the vault" The teller gives you a hefty bag. You walk outside with the money and head towards Griz's shop. Suddenly, two men approach you and say, "You got the money?" > You say "No, this is my dirty laundry" The men tell you they aren't amused and force you into their car. They drive you to an abandoned warehouse and pistol whip you. Your teeth are broken and your face is swelling to the size of a melon. The men go through the money and realize they are counterfeit bills you printed on your inkjet at home. They beat you mercilessly and leave you in a ditch. You later die of internal bleeding. The power of barbicide brings you back to life and you escape your grave. You now have a chilling hatred for banks. "The Last Outlaw" has been added to the Random Story Mix. > You say "You wait outside the bank for the officer who gave you the fake money. When you see her, you cut her hair. It is a terrible haircut. " The woman rushes back to the bank, crying and sobbing. You laugh. The bank has a candy counter. You help yourself to some gummy bears. Your mouth is full of sweet goodness. You level up, you gain the following hair cutting skills: Master Barber: All of your barber skills are dramatically improved. You continue to eat gummy bears, until you feel sick. You walk out of the bank and vomit on the floor. > You next you hunt down Griz. The barber is an evil old man who sold out his own village to a passing serf. You storm into his barber shop and attack him with your blade. He is not a fighter. You beat Griz into submission and demand to know why he sent you to the bank to die for him. "I needed the money for my daughter's wedding," Griz says. "She's dying." You have never faced a situation quite like this before. You lean in for a kiss and tell Griz you will take care of it. The next morning you awake to Griz's cold body and a note. "Thanks for the kiss," it reads. "I knew I could count on you." > You shake his body and cry uncontrollably. Then you go through his barbershop looking for epic loot. You find a gold pocket watch. It's time to go. You exit town and begin the journey back to the King with your friends. The moral of the story: it's best not to trust a dirty, rotten barber. You've escaped the barber's fate, but can you escape the Werewolf's? Find out in the next thrilling installment of...The Last Outlaw: Gangs of Deadsville Coming this Summer from Rocket City Games!
Mr. Hairy, a barber who has a passionate respect for quality hair
Posted under Episode 197, Story On By Chief