Nalum Auh, a rich noble boy living in a futuristic USA

Posted under Episode 196, Story On By Chief

You are Nalum Auh, a rich noble boy living in a futuristic USA. Everyone is voting on a new peace treaty. Because you are very young, your parents decide to vote for you. you are not happy with this and you need to show them that you are a man. you took your pen and ID and arrived at the polling station. When you see no one in the station... 	You take your ID and stab the ballot.
You struggle to pierce the bullet proof glass but you manage to stab it.
A poll worker see you do this and runs over to tell you tell you to stop. You feel a blow to the back of your head and everything fades to black.
You wake in a government lab where you see various top secret experiments all around you. You see: a man with a robotic arm, a woman with 3 breasts, a person with dragon wings growing from his back and a large naked man who seems to be able to absorb light.

> You get caught staring at the three breasted woman. She says...
"You know, my boyfriend has a beard just like that. Except his is a lot longer"
You grab the chart next to your bed and see that you have gained a new ability:
You gotten the ability to summon a beard of wildebeests.
"Great" you think "Just what I always wanted".

> You summon the wildebeests and tell them to break you out of here.
You try to do it but you can't concentrate hard enough. The drugs they obviously pumped into you has caused some brain damage. You will never be able to concentrate enough to use your powers again.

> You turn to the naked man who absorbs light and ask him "What's your deal?"
The man stares at you blankly for a few moments before replying:
"I'm sorry but I can't really hear you. My ears are clogged with w... "
The naked man tells you his name is Captain Average, he tells you he is the leader of the failed experiment mutants. He goes on to explain that the failed experiments live in a secret underground base and have set up their own community with their own rules. He explains it is run as a democracy with everyone getting a vote.
Captain Average tells you the list of rules:
Everyone must agree, this is a community not a dictatorship.
Everyone must pitch in, no one can sit around and do nothing.
Everyone is required to wear a loin cloth for hygiene reasons.

> You say "What exactly are the hygiene reasons?"
The Captain further explains that the men have a tendency to "spray" a bit when they get emotional.
You nod and head to live in the underground community.
You must now attend to your tasks as a community member.
Your parents show up and say you are still to young to vote. They will vote on community matters for you.  You find this very unfair but you are unable to do anything about it.
You soon learn that the community has been taken over by mutants who have no regard for human life...
You approach the mutants and tell them that your parents side with Captain Average. They kill you for this information.
You've reached the "Bad Ending". This was a possible outcome.
Captain Average takes you back to the lab and brings you back to life.
You agree to help the mutants and Captain Average leads you back to the lab. You manage to kill all the scientists and take over the lab.

> You become overwhelmed with emotion and begin to "spray"
You back away from the dead scientists as your body begins to "spray" everywhere.
You ask Captain Average if there is anything you can do to save the community.
Captain Average stares at you blanky. "I don't think so" he says as his mind begins to disintegrate.
You've reached the "Bad Ending 2". This was a possible outcome.
The moral of the story: Don't be a dick.
As you sit there crying, wondering why you're still alive, one of the dead men's wristwatches begins beeping. You look at it and realize it's about to explode.
You run away from the explosion.
You've reached the "Bad Ending 3". This was a possible outcome.