James Bond, a British secret agent who is infiltrating the Headquarters of PETA

Posted under Episode 196, Story On By Chief

You are James Bond, a British secret agent who is infiltrating the Headquarters of PETA, a group of people who think they are helping animals but are actually Terrorists. you get a dildo with the tip as a laser and break in.  You see people in lab coats forcing cuddly little puppies into tubes where they are injected with something. The tube pukes out white foam that bites people and then they turn into zombies.
You use your Stand Arrow on the zombies shambling towards you. It doesn't do much, but when the people get infected they become your minions. You can control them and see what they see. As their leader, you order them to kill the scientists that are running away.
You capture a scientist and ask him to tell you what these experiments are for. He tells you that they are making an army of animal zombie mutants to take over the world. You release him and tell your zombies to forget everything, as you don't want anyone but yourself knowing about this secret lab.
You lean in for a kiss on the scientist and then head back to MI6 to report your findings. You get a call from Moneypenny. "The Prime Minister wants to see you, he's very excited."
"I suppose I better see him then."
You meet with Boris Johnson who straps you to a laser table and tells you this is just customary for meetings with the prime minister. He then pushes a button and you are shot through various lasers as you writhe in pain. He stops and lets you up.

> You say "Why did you do that?"
"That wasn't the real laser." The Prime Minister replies.

> You inform him of the animal zombie mutants intending to take over the world with white puppy foam.
The Prime Minister pulls a revolver from his desk and shoots you in the head, killing you instantly. He turns to your ghost and says "You know too much."

> You your ghost slaps the shit out of him.
Your hand passes through his body, and your ghost floats in the air. "What the fuck." He says, and tries to shoot you again.
You realize you are immune from being harmed as a ghost and decide to haunt Boris until he goes crazy!
You stand there and watch as the Prime Minister slowly goes insane from seeing you. He sees you laugh. He sees you cry. He sees you dance. He sees you sing "Camptown Races".

> You go to visit the Queen in her chambers.
You float through her wall and watch as she sleeps. You reach out and touch her, and she wakes up. "Who's there?" she asks, frightened. Her eyes grow wide as she sees you.
You show her a peace offering. You turn on a remake of Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit made by PETA called Animal Act 2: Back in the Zoo.
You show her a peace offering. You turn on a remake of Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit made by PETA called Animal Act 2: Back in the Zoo.
The Queen begins crying as she watches the movie about a girl who joins PETA and learns that animals don't have souls and we should eat them. You begin singing "Heart and Soul" by Terry Devine Davies.

> You put your ghost hand on the queens thigh.
The Queen smiles at your antics. It's time to fuck the queen!
You pull off the Queens dress and reveal her beautiful breasts. You begin licking them, as she begins moaning in pleasure. She begins unbuttoning your shirt and once she's finished she begins sucking your nipples. You begin moaning in pleasure as your moan is louder than hers.
"Fuck me," she commands.
You pull down your trousers and reveal your massive cock. You've been blessed, son! The queen immediately takes it in her mouth and begins sucking.
Prince Harry walks in and catch you in the act. "What the fuck?" he screams. The queen turns her head towards him. "Fuck off, Harry!" she yells before turning back to you.

> You put your dick inside the queen as Prince Charles walks into the room.
You begin fucking the queen from behind as Prince Charles watches in disgust. "This is morally wrong," he says as he leaves to alert the guards.
You chase after Prince Charles who quickly stops and turns around as you fly into him. You have possessed Prince Charles!
"What the fuck!" he yells, as you force him back to the queen.
The queen stops sucking your cock and looks in horror as you begin screaming.
Prince Philip enters the room. "What's going on?" he asks, as you force Prince Charles to attack him. The two wrestle for a bit until Prince Charles head-butts him and kills him.
The moral of the story: If you have sex with the queen, you will die.