Sam Foster, a writer dealing with writers block

Posted under Episode 195, Story On By Chief

You are Sam Foster, a writer dealing with writers block. You can't even come up with a title for the book your writing and you have turned to whiskey. You soon begin to see gremlins running around your house and you start to become fearful of what you are writing.

> You realize everything you write comes true. The next thing you write is:.
"Sam sees demons"
You come to the realization that everything you write comes true. You decide to stop drinking, because obviously this causes some damage. Soon your wife and children return home.
You decide to write something good, your favorite thing in the world appears in front of you: a typewriter. You decide to write a horror story, one that you can be remembered for. After three days of typing, your finished work is done. Your favorite dog (Or cat.
You reach out to Jim, a professional prompts writer, to help you get started on your new book. He loved it. The only problem is, when you were writing your typewriter suddenly broke.
"it had to happen eventually," you think.
You call Jim and ask to give you a prompt, he says:
"blank, and then blank."
"I see what you did there," you laugh.
Jim tells you to write a crime thriller for children.  Your typing speed triples, you are writing at the same speed as a computer.
Suddenly, your wife throws a mug of coffee at your head. It shatters as it hits your head.
You get so mad at your wife for interrupting you that you writer her out of existence.
It's just you and Jim now. You begin to write the next Harry Potter book.
"Sam, why are you writing a new harry potter book, it has been written.
Jim gives you the best advice you've ever heard: "Delete your internet."
You do so, and continue writing the new harry potter book. You make 5 billion dollars from the first month the book is out. You become the most powerful person in the world.
The economy collapses because you deleted the internet. You become the ruler of the world, and you are finally happy.

> You write that JK Rowling doesn't care about who uses what bathroom anymore.
You realize that Rowling doesn't give a shit about what gender goes into which bathroom. You go into the mens room.
You hear Rowling taking big stinky doo doo and being loud about it.
You get disgusted, and don't go to the bathroom for a week. You eventually have diarrhea really bad and someone takes a picture of you in that moment. It goes viral and your book sales plummet.
You write diarrhea out of existence and no one suffers from diarrhea again. You get a call from Yoshikage Kira, A serial killer with a hand fetish. He says he's coming to your house to kill you.
You try to run but the killer already got you. He slashes your throat with a knife. You die instantly and your body is never found.
The only memory of you that lives on is the moment you shit yourself with diarrhea.
Congratulations, you have completed Mad-X
The moral of the story: don't be a shitty writer.