Cory, the newest addition to the cast of AIPD

Posted under Episode 193, Story On By Chief

You are Cory, the newest addition to the cast of AIPD. You want to become a more prominent member of the show and you think the way to do that is to get Tony and Jim off the show. One day, you walk up to Tony and Jim and spray knockout gas at them. After they pass out, you hide them in your car trunk. You walk up to Jason and say, "Tony and Jim disappeared, so I guess I'm your new co-host." Jason replies, "Oh, okay." You smile. 
A month passes and Jason begins to suspect something is up. You start to sweat.
3 months pass and the police find the bodies. You go on the run, but you are eventually caught.

> You regurgitate a handcuff key and undo your restraints. you dive out of the car into some tall grass and escape into the night.
You make your escape and are never caught. Your life of crime pays off and you live an exciting life of burglaries, car jackings, and armored car robberies.
You run into Jason years later at a bank you are about to rob. You recognize him and he recognizes you. He tells you he is a millionaire thanks to your advice and the show's success. You decide to let him go. After all, you made your point.

> You did Tony and Jim survive?
Yes, they did survive.
You are let go because no evidence is found. You live happily ever after.

> You start your new life in Southern Mexico.
One year later...
Your life is good, that is until you watch a true crime special about AIPD.

> You see your mugshot and a list of all your crimes next to it on the TV Program America's Most Wanted.
You turn yourself into the FBI after watching the TV program.

> You mentor an entire league on criminals in prison. you call it the school for scoundrels.
You live the rest of your life in prison as a favorite mentor to all new criminals. You die at the age of 80 from a heart attack.
On your deathbed you call Tony and Jim to apologize, you say:
"I am sorry for trying to kill you both. But I did it for the show and for America."
Tony and Jim say to you...
"It's alright. We forgive you."
And that was how a reality TV show saved America.
Years pass, you were supposed die, but you can't. The doctors are baffled, they think you are some how immortal, but science cannot explain it.
Your body has become a shrine, hundreds of people visit you everyday to see the miracle that is you.
But science always finds a way.
You start a new religion and claim you are the second coming of Christ. Everyone believes you except for one annoyed scientist - Dr Berkman.
You start a world war and you call it the second apocalypse.
The world is left in ruins, but there is hope, one man can save it...
Dr. Victor Berkman
You must choose...
You choose to spare Berkman because you feel like nothing can stop you.
You have been killed in the nuclear explosion, you are dead and gone.
There is always a nether and an after life for those with great determination...

> You start running up the snake road to reincarnate.
You continue to run up the road. You feel the end is near, you are ready to leave this world and move on.
The road has become a tunnel of pulsating light.
You dance to the beat of the light. Soon you know you will be One with the light.
You have become one with the light.
You travel to the other end of the universe at light speed.
Suddenly your whole vision becomes a beautiful sky. You are ready to take your place in the universe
You are reborn as a middle aged Transgender Mexican woman of African Descent.
The moral of the story:
Life is what you make of it.