Regis, master of falcons

Posted under Episode 169, Story On By Chief

You are Regis, master of falcons. Your favorite falcon, Reggie, sits on your shoulder everywhere you go. You and Reggie attend a local street fair, where you hire an artist to paint a portrait of you. The artist says…
"It's done!" the artist says, stepping back to examine his work.
You step forward to look at the painting.

> You describe the painting aloud.
"Beautiful," you say, as the artist beams at the compliment. "Thank you so much!
The artist asks you for a favor, he wants you to use your falcon to attack his landlord who is trying to kick him out of his studio for late rent.
"Anything for a fellow artist," you agree, and draw your falcon to your arm. You're sure the portrait will remind you to do it later.

> You forget to do the favor.
A month passes...
Two months pass...
Three months pass...
Six months pass...
A year passes...
Ten years pass...
Twenty years pass...
You are Regis, master of falcons.
You suddenly remember what to do, but it is too late. The building where the artist used to work is now a Denny's. You try to track the artist down and apologize. You see him disheveled and sleeping on a park bench.
"I'm sorry," you say, giving him a full jar of coins as an apology. "I just remembered what I was supposed to do."
He looks up at you.
The artist recognizes Reggie sitting on your shoulder. He becomes angry. "Do you think I could paint from memory!?" he screams.
He pulls out a knife and lunges at you.
Cornered, you grab a nearby umbrella and defend yourself against the artist's attack.

> You spin the umbrella wildly and without constraint.
You stab the artist in the leg and he falls down. You sit on his chest and jab the umbrella down his throat.
"That was for my lost years!" you yell. "For my lost life!"
You open the umbrella.
A strange man walks over to you. He wears a plain t-shirt and plain jeans. A black duffel bag is slung over his shoulder.
"Was he bothering you, friend?"

> You say "Yeah. What's in your duffel bag?"
"Just some cleaning supplies," he says.
"See you around," he says. He leaves.
You realize you are very hungry. It's been a long day.

> You command your falcon to retrieve some fried from Five Guys.
Regina returns with a hamburger from Five Guys.
You eagerly take a bite of the delicious burger.
You feel bad for the artist, take the umbrella out of his mouth, and help him up. You ask him, "Is there anything I can do to make up for it?"
He thinks for a moment. "There are rumors of a lost Caravaggio in a disused bathroom at the Met," he says.

> You say "I will take care of it for you, and I will definitely NOT forgot to do it this time."
He thanks you for your help and takes his leave.
You, Reggie, and the artist walk to the nearest diner. You order a chili cheese dog and iced tea.

> You you, Reggie, and the artist make up plans to steal the painting from the bathroom.
You, Reg, and the artist make plans to steal the painting in the bathroom.
You order chili cheese fries and iced tea.
The artist tells you that a rich collector will be in the bathroom at midnight.
You sneak into the Met after hours and meet a mysterious man in the bathroom. He tells his name Deep Pockets.
You, Reg, and the artist steal the painting from the collector in the bathroom.
The artist takes the painting and compliments you on your great work. He gives you a tip of $100.

> You give $50 to Reggie, who spends it on falcon hookers.
"This is for being such a good friend," you say. You hand her $50.
"Thanks for the help," she says. "Let's celebrate with some falcon hookers!"