You are Terry Carmichael, a female park ranger that has just watched a plane crash in the desert. You meet up with Riley Hale, a pilot who survived the crash. Riley tells you that his co-pilot, Vic Deakins, has gone rogue and stolen two nuclear missiles. Vic has teamed up with a terrorist group and is demanding a ransom. If the US Government doesn't pay the ransom, Vic will detonate the nukes in a major American city. You need to stop Vic, but the Government has a strict no-negotiation policy with terrorists. You need to find a way to stop Vic and prevent him from launching the missiles without breaking Government protocol. Riley suggests that you bend the rules, just this once. A. Agree to help Vic and prevent the nukes from being used without authorisation. B. Remain loyal to the Government and the law and find a way to stop Vic that follows protocol. You decide to remain loyal to the rules of your Government, no matter what the situation. Riley disagrees and breaks the rules anyway. You are guilty by association. A few days after the incident, you are sentenced to life in prison for assisting a known terrorist and violating Government protocol. You serve your sentence without complaint. The president pardons you and tells you to retrieve the stolen nuclear weapons, but you don't have to obey any rules this time. A. Find a way to break back into the terrorists' camp without being noticed and retrieve the nukes without breaking any protocol. B. Find a way to sneak into the terrorists' camp and kill them all, solving the problem once and for all, even if it means bending or breaking rules to do it. You find a way to sneak into the terrorists' camp and kill them all, solving the problem once and for all, even if it means bending or breaking rules to do it. The American people hail you as a hero for saving the lives of millions. Your career soars, and you eventually become the first female President of the United States. THE END You decide to remain loyal to the rules of your Government, no matter what the situation. Riley disagrees and breaks the rules anyway. You amend the constitution to allow rule breaking, but only when terrorists steal nuclear weapons. The terrorists launch a missile at Washington. You try to detect the missile and shoot it down, but you fail. You are killed in the blast. Everyone thinks you are dead but you are just hiding in the bunker under the white house along with the Kool Aid Man, until you can figure things out. The terrorists take advantage of the fact that America thinks you are dead and completely overrun Canada. Soon, they march into America demanding that you step down and turn over the country to them. You have no choice but to capitulate to their demands. > You give in to the terrorists' demand, but on the condition that you are allowed to remain president. You are brought before the terrorists' leader for a Skype conference. He is a fat bearded man with wild eyes and an assault rifle in his hands. You have no choice but to capitulate or he will launch a barrage of missiles at your country, ending your regime and your life. He demands that you step down. > You decide to break the rules and call him ugly. "You're a fat, disgusting liar who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse filled with corpses. Your mother was a whore who gave you up for crack money. Your father is Bill Cosby and you like to molest little kids. Now let me talk to your leader!" The terrorists' leader cuts the connection without saying anything. You get a call from the Department of Defense, 100,000 missiles have been launched directly at the White House. You run to the bomb shelter, but you are not fast enough. The missiles hit their targets and incinerate you, along with everything else in a 15 mile radius. The terrorists have won. Everyone thinks you died, but it was just another presidential body double. You demand the Kool Aid Man to infiltrate the terrorist regime. He agrees, all the while drinking a red liquid from a large glass pitcher. The terrorists' leader is a funny looking man who wears colorful clothes and has a scraggly black beard. He is playing cards with the Vice-Leader when the Kool-Aid Man walks in. The Kool-Aid verbally insults the Vice-Leader by saying... "Hey, did you know that your last name, Bin-Laden, means 'has no balls' in Arabic?" The terrorists' leader shoots the Kool-Aid Man. The Vice-Leader fires a surface-to-air missile at an unarmed American jetliner. You get word the Kool Aid man has been killed in action, you call up the terrorist leader and insult him with the ultimate roast. "Hey Bin-Laden, did you know that 'Bin' means 'Without' in Arabic, and 'Laden' means 'Testicles' in Arabic?" You laugh at your own joke. The terrorist leader explodes in a fit of anger. > You award yourself the National Medal of Freedom. You try to reward yourself and quickly learn that you should not try to reward yourself. You quickly learn that it's best to reward others for their hard work. The terrorists take advantage of your poor judgment and brutally murder you. On your grave reads the ultimate insult towards the terrorists who killed you. It reads... "Here lies President Kneebutt."
Terry Carmichael, a female park ranger that has just watched a plane crash in the desert
Posted under Episode 163, Story On By Chief