Thomas rides a roller coaster with faulty safety harness

Posted under Episode 162, Story On By Chief

Your name is Thomas. You are at the fair. You are next in line to ride the big roller coaster. You get on the roller coaster and it begins to move. As you make your way up the first big hill, you notice that your safety belt is not working. You decide to...
You are walking around in a fog. You look down and see a fortune in gold coins at your feet. You look up and see a Cross parted in the middle by a thick beam of light coming through.
You see a man in a white suit with a long white beard, you ask him, "Am I dead?" He answers, "No, but you were."
You find yourself on a road. A very large man in a black suit and a preacher's collar steps out from around a corner and pulls you aside.

> You say "What am I doing here? "
He says, "You need to go that way," and points a finger off down the road. You feel compelled to follow it. Suddenly the man grabs your hand and presses into it an old newspaper clipping.

> You look at the newspaper clipping and it appears to be an article about your own death on the roller coaster.
You read the newspaper clipping, it appears to be an article about your own death on the roller coaster. Just then you look up and notice that the road you are on has changed into the entrance of an amusement park.
There is a sign in front of the park that reads, "You must be THIS alive to enter the park." You are not that alive, you are only sort of alive.
The man in the black suit walks up behind you and whispers, "Decide quickly or you will never enter the gates of this park."
You walk singing "Staying Alive" by the Beejees.
Suddenly the video screen goes black and a man appears in a dark pinstripe suit and black .com glasses. He says, "Hi, I'm Steve. I'm dead."
You feel bad and don't know what to do so you kiss Steve on the cheek say, "Sorry."
"That's OK," he says, "But you must hurry. You have died before and you will die again and again and again."
You begin to cry because your mind has been blown.

"The only way to stop dying is to give up on life."
"But how can I do that, Steve?" you cry.
"That's for you to decide," Steve says. Then he reaches out and touches a part of your brain that you never knew existed.
He takes his glasses off and wipes the tears from your eyes. He says, "Just make sure you don't end up in an amusement park owned by an evil demon from hell.

> You decide to get back on the roller coaster, determined to have a good time, this time.
You get back on the roller coaster. If you're going to die, you might as well die happy. The roller coaster takes you up and up and around and around and then it goes so fast that...
spins into your mouth and you eat it. You eat the whole roller coaster. Your stomach is full of roller coaster and you pass out.
Later, at the hospital, the doctors operate on you and remove the roller coaster. You wake up a week later and feel like a new person.
You down at yourself and see you are a newborn baby. You have been born again.
You decide to spend the rest of your life doing good deeds. You become Mother Teresa and spend the rest of your life helping the poor. Eventually you win a nobel peace prize.
You go to Calcutta. On your way to school, you see a small, black kitten fall into a dry well. The kitten is helpless and cannot get out. You climb into the well and rescue the kitten.
You realize that no one witnessed your good deed, so you drop the kitty back in the well and gather a crowd. Then you save the kitty in front of the whole town. The whole world hears about your deed and they all talk about how great you are. You have a statue built in your honor. It shows you saving the kitty in the well.

> You demand to have the statue redone in a much larger size.
The townspeople agree and build a statue of you that is bigger than the Empire State Building. It stands over the town like a colossus.
The colossus starts leaning, and people start calling it the Leaning Tower of Teresa. It eventually falls and squishes your grave.
Your kitty grave says, "She was the bravest cat that ever lived."
You have reached the "pick your own ending"