You are Pepper Rony, a pizza chef who is getting investigated by food inspectors. Your restaurant is about to fail because you have rats all over the floor and cockroaches. You need to save your restaurant. You have to find the car keys, check the food, and feed the rats. You can look under tables, in the kitchen, and outside. > You don't want your boss to find out you are training rats to fight each other. You hold illegal rat fights where all your gambling friends show up, every Saturday night under the restaurant. You are a normal pizza chef, but on the side you run an underground rat fight club where rats fight each other. You have trained them to fight each other, and they are ruthless in battle. You train the rats by rewarding the winners and punishing the losers. A waitress at the restaurant walks up to you after closing and says, "Do you run the rat fighting ring?" You don't respond. She adds, "because rat fighting making me horny!" You say, "Do you want to get laid?" The waitress says, "Hell yes!" You take the waitress into the basement where you keep the rats and have sex with her. While you are having sex with the waitress, your rat "Acid Flux" is fighting a rat named "Bloody Mary". Bloody Mary is about to win, but Acid Flux comes back to win in the end, just as you and the waitress simultaneously orgasm. The waitress screams a little as she realizes you are climaxing. You feel a little embarassed, but she says "That's OK, I would have preferred if it was just me." You and the waitress get dressed and she says, "I have to go home now... thanks for the sex." > You see the rats staring at you in disbelief. You run upstairs and after the waitress. You ask her if she wants to go on a second date? You are up in the second floor of your restaurant when you see the rat fights. You run down to break them up. > You say "Hey, no rat fighting off the clock!" You say "Hey, no rat fighting off the clock!" The rats stop fighting and look up at you. You say, "Stop fighting! Stop fighting right now! I'm serious!" You have been ratting on your friends for years. The waitress comes back in with a bunch of FBI agents, she was an undercover agent. They catch you trying to clean up after the rat fights. You are fired, and you go to jail. Your rat fighter friends all get arrested, and the place gets shut down. > You star a rat fighting ring in prison. You become very popular. After serving your time, you are released from prison. You talk to the owner and get your job back at the pizza place. You have learned a lot in prison. Now you are ready to run a rat fighting ring on the side. You open a tattoo parlor next door to the pizza place. It is called Rat-a-Tats. You hold rat fights in the shop after closing time. One of your rat fighters is a dwarf who has two penises. You call him Mr. Double Header. He always wins, but he doesn't make much money because people want to bet against him. You need to find him a rival. A rival pizza place across town brings a rival worthy of Mr Double Header, a giant rat with two buttholes named Ivan Dragholes. You put them in the ring and pull the biggest crowd you've ever seen your rat fighting days. Mr. Double Header wins after two hours of fighting. The crowd goes wild. The mayor's son is at the fight, and he says he wants to throw an after party at your restaurant after closing time. You agree. The mayor's son orders a bunch of food and drinks for free because his father owns the city. > You order Mr. Double Header to rough up the mayor's son when he goes to the bathroom. Mr. Double Header is waiting at the bathroom for the mayor's son. When he enters, Mr. Double Header breaks his arms and legs. You hear the mayor's son crying in the bathroom, so you go to check on him. He is a bloody mess, drugged out of his mind, and missing most of his teeth. You reward Mr Double Header by dropping him a cage with a bunch of horny lady rats. You then decide to call the waitress and ask for a second date. "I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now..." she says. "That's OK, maybe some day." > You say "Ok. Just sex then?" "Sure," she says. The waitress agrees to have sex with you, as long as it is just sex. You end up going home together that night. She says she feels safe around you, and that you are a nice guy despite being a criminal. > You say "I will give up my life of crime if you marry me." You propose to the waitress, and she says yes. You retire from criminal life, and you and her have a happy marriage. > You eat a big ol' sloppy hot dog. You are sitting at the counter of your pizza shop, eating a delicious hot dog. It has been a good day. You hear a knock on the front door of the pizza shop, and then a gunshot.
Pepper Rony, a pizza chef who is getting investigated by food inspectors
Posted under Episode 162, Story On By Chief