You are Nedwin Jones, a delivery driver for FedEx. You have very meddlesome parents who insist on accompanying you on your delivery route. You have to deliver a package to your boss, and your parents follow you to the porch. Your mother says, "We're going out to eat, Nedwin. You can pick us up when you're done." Your father hands you a $20 bill. > You follow your parents. You are suspicious of their recent activities. You follow your parents, and they drive to a remote location. There are four black sedans parked on the side of the road. > You call your parents cell phone and ask "Where did you decide to eat?" You call your parents cell phones, which say that the caller is unlisted. Your mother answers. "Why are you following us?" she asks angrily. You don't receive a call back after a minute. > You see your parents get into one of the sedans. The sedan starts driving up a mountain road. You follow your parents up the mountain road. It leads to a desolate parking lot. A man walks out of the woods and opens the sedan's trunk. > You see him pull out a rocket launcher and give a briefcase full of money to your mom. You see a briefcase full of money being exchanged between the man and your mom. The man runs away to a sedan parked further up the mountain road. He gets in the car and drives away. You see you mom launch a rocket at the black sedan as it drives away and it blows up. Your mom calls you. "Nedwin, beautiful day like today, and you have to fuck it up." > You demand that your mother tell you the truth about what she does for a living. You and your mother have a long talk. Your father shows up in the middle of it. Your parents tell you that they are secret agents for the U.S. government. > You say "Mommy, I want to be a secret agent too!" You, your father and mother laugh, and drive home. The next day, your mom drops you off at secret agent school. She tells you she will come back to pick you up at the end of the day. When you arrive at secret agent school, a cool-looking teenager approaches you. "Hey man, are you a secret agent?" > You play cool and an say "Uh... No... uh... is this a test?" and then you wink excessively. You are taken to a room with dozens of desks. A man walks into the room and introduces himself as trainer. The trainer says "The first rule of being a secret agent is..." You raise your hand and say "Rule number one: you don't talk about being a secret agent." The trainer says "Damn right" and slaps you a high five. The trainer then says "The second rule of being a secret agent is..." You interrupt and say "Rule number two: you don't talk about being a secret agent." The trainer says "Damn right" and slaps you another high five. The other people in the class are rolling their eyes at you. After class, one of the other agents in training, Tully, slaps your books out of your hands. Tully stands over you and says "Rule number three: you don't interfere with another agent's work." You stand up and look at him. > You say "Rule number four: Protect your crotch" then punch him in the nuts." You swing your fist into his nuts. He falls to the ground in pain. You pick up your books and walk out of the classroom. You walk down the hallway, when you hear someone giggling behind you. > You see the most attractive agent in training approach and she tells you her name is Audrey. You turn around and see the most attractive girl in class, who tells you her name is Audrey. You blush severely, but manage to maintain your calm demeanor. After a brief conversation, she asks... "I am late for my lesson in Destructive Ice Art... Would you like to join me? You say "I'd love to." She looks shocked and says " Oh. Um, Okay..." Tully walks up to you and says "There are no breaks in this school. > You say, "Rule number five: Don't forget rule number four," and swing boths fists at Sully's crotch. You punch him in the nuts and he falls to the ground. You see the instructor, who was watching you from a distance, approach. The instructor says "Alright Nedwin, you've proven your point." > You say "Instructor, what is rule number six of being a secret agent?" The instructor says "Damn right" and slaps you a high five. THE END You reached the end of the "Choose Your Own Adventure: Secret Agent Adventures!"
Nedwin Jones, a delivery driver for FedEx
Posted under Episode 159, Story On By Chief