Mister Minnetonka enters a male beauty pageant

Posted under Episode 157, Story On By Chief

You are Mister Minnetonka. You enter male beauty pageants to raise enough scholarship money to go to college. You are currently defending your title in the Mister Minnetonka pageant when suddenly…

You are Chief Sitting Bull. After leading a peaceful resistance against the armed invaders for years, you finally surrender to the U.S. government and are arrested.

Everyone at the pageant is confused by your weird military performance. You were only supposed to do a 5 minute acts, but yet you did a 140 minute play.

You are escorted off the stage in chains and taken away to rot in a U.S. prison for the rest of your life.

> You write a letter to the president exclaiming your innocence and begging to be pardoned.
The next day you are visited by a man with black skin and a strange accent. He calls himself...
Chief Sitting Bull
You are Chief Sitting Bull.

> You realize you are having an outer body experience and you are talking to yourself.
You are both Chief Sitting Bull.
You begin arguing with yourself.
"This was a stupid idea."
"No, it's my turn to be in charge."
You realize you need to make a choice.

 You and your black twin agree to enter a male beauty pageant. The winner will be in charge of your body. 
You don't want to do this, but you don't have a choice.
You are Chief Sitting Bull. It is time to decide...

> You agree and start preparing your beauty pageant act.
You agree to perform in the beauty pageant.
You report to the pageant and meet your fellow contestants. To your surprise, they welcome you with open arms.

> You wear your native tribal dress for the evening wear portion of the beauty contest.
The audience roars with applause when your turn comes to strut down the cat walk in your evening wear. You are dressed in traditional Native American garb.

The swimsuit portion of the show begins and you remove your garb to reveal a beautiful pair of traditional swim trunks.
 You look fantastic!
You are in the finals of the competition and you are getting nervous.
Finally, it is time for you to give your speech. You walk up to the microphone and begin to speak...

"Tonight I am here to talk about..."
The audience suddenly begins booing you. It appears that they consider your the evening wear portion of the show to be the best of the competition.

> You give the people what the want and rip your clothes off.
You stand there buck naked in front of the audience. Everyone loves it! You win the competition and are feeling on top of the world.

Your black twin hands you a bushel of roses.

"Hello," you say. "We are prepared to defend our title as pageant champs."
Your twin begins to speak...
"Tonight I am here to talk about..."

The people and the judges return to their seats to hear what your twin has to say.
 You hand them a program on your way back to your seat.
"Tonight I am here to talk about..."
The audience does not boo or leave their seats. They remain quiet and attentive.

Your black twin gets a standing ovation. The crowd begins chanting for you to give him your crown.

"My brother and I..."
The speech is a tremendous success.
You feel on top of the world as you accept your crown from Mel Gibson.

> You invite Mel Gibson to your local deli to celebrate.
You invite Mel to your favorite deli. You are beginning to have a good feeling about your future.
That night, you sleep like a baby.