You are Teddy Waskle, a guy who's excited to go to the fair. After driving to the fair, you are about to start having fun, but a fair employee stands in front of you and says, "You need to pay a fee." You think he says you need to take a pee, so you pee your pants. After your pants are soaked, you look at the guard and say, "I peed my pants, so can I now go into the fair?" The fair employee gets angry and says, "No no no! I have actual money! I meant you have to pay a fee to get into the fair." You then get out your wallet and give him all your money. The Carney refuse to take your pee-soaked money, so you get into the fair for free. You head to the animal tent to roll in the sawdust and dry off. The animal tent is filled with a bunch of monkeys. The monkeys see you and throw poop at you. You cry. How would you rate this book? You write another book, but this time the ending is changed to where you throw your poop at the monkeys. This gets the attention of PETA. They protest your book and burn it in a public square. This makes you feel bad, so you write another book where you make friends with the monkeys. > You write a book where you fall in love with the bearded lady. You write a book where you fall in love with the bearded lady. You become a big celebrity and have all the happiness you could ever want. You did it! You have 3 kids with the Bearded Lady. They are spoiled by your wealth and fame. You live a happy life and are always glad you didn't shot that clown in the face. You flashback to that day you almost shot a clown. You were visiting the county fair for the first time with your family. You were a little boy, no more than 5 years old. Your dad asks you to hold his gun while he goes on the Ferris wheel with your mother. While you are waiting, a clown approaches you. His face is painted white with red spots, and he wears a hat perched on his head with a long tassel hanging down. You are afraid of clowns and you try to sneak past him. As you get close, he sprays you in the eye with his gag flower and laughs and laughs. You run away and bump into the Ferris wheel, and suddenly your hand is caught in the hinge of the door. > You scream for help. A pretty nurse named Barbara comes and saves you. She is so grateful that when she takes you home, you become boyfriend and girlfriend. Barbara is arrested for child endangerment, then you pee your pants when the police come to arrest her and are put in an orphanage. Then, when you are adopted by the Worst People Ever, you have to live with a family that is out to eat your heart. You skip that day at the fair and don't learn that clowns are friendly. Your flashback causing a surge of anger, you go to the local walmart and buy a gun. You track down the clown who wronged you when you were younger. You break into his home with the gun and the clown suit he no longer uses. You stand over him as he sleeps. "Should I forgive him," you think, "Or should I kill him?" > You tie up the clown, take him to the fair after dark, and chain him to the ferris wheel. You chain him to the ferris wheel. As you leave, you realize what a monster you have become. The next morning, all the news stations report that a clown was found chained to the ferris wheel. > You find forgiveness in your heart for the clown. You throw away the gun and write a book about how to forgive. Everyone buys your book and forgives the clown, who goes on to do great things with his life.