Butch Puddington, Local Television Weatherman

Posted under Episode 151, Story On By Chief

You are Butch Puddington. You are the local television weatherman.

It is a little known fact that most of the U.S. meteorologists are spies in the employ of the United States government.

You are at the news station preparing your weather report for today. You have been getting dozens of calls about a very strange cloud pattern forming over the city. You decide to investigate.

After your weather report, you are going to go investigate this strange cloud formation. Hopefully, it's not dangerous.

> You drive up the mountain and get as close as possible to the strange clouds. You do a live report on the scene.
You pull your car up the mountain as close as you can get to the strange clouds. You exit your car and approach cautiously.

You see a large spaceship hiding in the cloud
. It fires a laser bolt at you and kills you instantly.
When the police arrive, they find your burned and smoldering corpse on the side of the road.

The CIA takes your burned corpse and rebuilds you using alien technology. You are stronger and faster than before. You are the ultimate weatherman.

You make contact with the aliens that shot at you before. You break into their spacecraft and take their leader hostage.
You force him to make you a better weatherman than you ever could have been before. You are now the best weatherman in the galaxy.

> You your best every weather report and report on the weather for the entire galaxy.
You are the greatest weatherman ever to live.
All of the galaxy tunes into your report every day to see what the weather will be. You are the most popular thing in the galaxy. Your life is good.

You read your weather instruments and detect that the Sun is about to supernova and kill everyone in the galaxy.
You attempt to warn everyone, but they do not heed your warnings. They think you are just trying to get attention.
The Sun explodes and destroys the galaxy. You were right all along. That feels good.

You travel to the next galaxy over. You are famous for predicting the sun exploding and you quickly because known as the best weatherman in the universe!

It only gets better from here.

> You become overconfident with your weather predicting skills. One day you get it wrong and nobody trusts you anymore.
Your fame is short lived. One day, you get it wrong and predict a heat wave when in reality it's supposed to snow. Everyone thinks you are an idiot.
You kill yourself out of shame and embarrassment.

Your body flies towards a nearby star and is incinerated instantly.

The end.

The universe rains for an entire week after your death.
Everyone agrees it's the least they could do for the poor man.
The end.