Virtual Tony, Back Waxer

You are Tony and you have missed your live stream show because you had to go and get your back waxed.
 It really hurt but you feel like a new person. You are so happy that you do a little dance.

Then, your doorbell rings.

Who could that be?


(Pfft. Probably best friends begging you to open the door)

You open your door to see...

A beautiful girl.
"Hey," she says.

She seems familiar.

She says to you "I just moved in next door and would like to borrow a cup of sugar"


You feel a little scared and nervous but you say "Sure".
You lend her a cup of sugar and then...
"Thanks so much!" she says. "I'll return it later.


> You say "Can come over and back with you?"
You say to her "Can come over and help you?"
She smiles and says yes!
You feel really happy and excited.
You ring her doorbell. She opens the door.

"Remember me?"

She smiles again and says "Of course I do."
You walk in and see her house. It is beautiful.
She says to you "We can sit in the living room if you want"


> You say "What do you think of Battlestar Galactica?"
You say to her "What do you think of..."
She says "It's a good show."
She smiles and you smile too.

You get super nervous and a little aroused. You reach for your asthma ventilator.
 You use it.
You are now relaxed. You are very glad you brought it.
She asks you "Do you want anything to eat or drink?


> You say "I'll take a Zima."
You say to her "I'll take a..."
She replies "Sorry, we don't have that."

So... are you married?
 I am asking because you are wearing a ring"
You feel really weird. You say to her "I am not married."
She looks at you and says "Oh, OK.

You sit on her couch and wait for her.
After about 5 minutes she comes back. She is carrying two cups.
She says "I made you some tea."
She gives you a cup of tea.

She spills the hot tea into your crotch. Your jeans are very wet.

"Oh no!" she says.
She runs into her kitchen. You are in a lot of pain.
She comes back with some paper towels. She tries to wipe off your wet privates.


> You say "Keep wiping, it's all in the crotch area. Slower slower, ok now faster!"
You keep wiping, it's all in the crotch area. Slower slower, ok now faster!"
She wipes very fast. It tickles a little bit. She says "I'm sorry.

You decide to seduce her.

You try to kiss her. She pushes you away.
"I'm sorry," she says.
She gets up and leaves the room.
You are all wet and you smell like tea.


> You say "Please come back, my dick has stopped breathing and requires CPR."
You wait for her to come back.
She comes back with a wash cloth. She puts it on your crotch. It helps a little.
You say "That feels good."
You stare into her eyes.


> You say "You're very pretty"
You say to her "You're very pretty."
She says "Thank you" and looks at you.
You stare into her eyes for a few minutes. You start to feel weak.


> You say "This might seem like a weird question, but could you see dating me? Hypothetical question, of course. Also before you answer did you see my shaved back?"
You say to her "This might seem like a weird question, but could you see dating me? Hypothetical question, of course. Also before you answer did you see my shaved back?"
She says "Sure"


> You say "Yes, you will date me? Or yes, you did see my shaved back?"
You say to her "Yes, you will date me? Or yes, you did see my shaved back?"
She looks at you and says "Both"
You look away. You don't know what to do.


> You try to kiss her while she is still dabbing off your crotch.
You try to kiss her while she is still dabbing off your crotch.
She gets up and says "No, we are just friends."
She walks away.
You can't believe this.

A man walks through the front door and yells "Honey, I'm home"

She walks up to him and gives him a kiss.
You say "Who the fuck is this?"
She says "This is my husband."
You get very angry.

The husband looks at your wet crotch and says "Who the fuck are you?"

You get up and start yelling at her.
She starts yelling back. The husband gets a little scared and calls the police.
The police come in and tazers you for hitting his wife.

Cut to you sleeping in jail. Your cell mate wakes you up and asks you "Hypothetical question, could see dating me?". You scream!

THE END
You have reached the "black out" level on http://kungfupow.com/link.php?