Dragon Dating Advice with Sir Goodwright

Posted under Episode 1, Story On By Chief

You are Sir Duly Goodwright, a knight living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a steel longsword and a wooden shield. You are on a quest to defeat the evil dragon of Larion. You've heard he lives up at the north of the kingdom. You set on the path to defeat him and walk into a dark forest. As you enter the forest you see a large black dragon flying above you. He is so big that it takes all your strength just to stand before him.

"I am Sir Goody Two-Shoes," says the dragon, "and I will be your opponent today."

> "your wife is a slut and I've definitely slept with her in a past life"

The dragon snorts and looks down at you.

"Is that what you think?" he asks. "Well maybe not, but if it is then good for you because it's true! I'm a very old dragon who has lived this way his whole life!"

> take pity on the dragon and invite him to the bar

You turn around and approach the dragon.


"Come on out here, we can talk about this later," you say. The dragon looks confused by your request, but he finally understands and lets himself get carried away by you.

> carry the dragon into a singles bar for dragons

You drag the dragon into a singles bar for dragons. There are several other dragons there, but they don't seem to care one way or another as long as you're having fun.

A few hours pass and you hear a noise coming from outside.

> go outside

You open the door and see a giant monster standing there. It's head is huge, its body is covered in scales, and it towers over you. Its name is Drakon and he's pissed off about something.

"What do you want?" he demands angrily.

> introduce Drakon to Sir Goody Two-Shoes

Drakon sees you and smiles.

"Good sir, it's been a long time since someone treated me like an equal," Drakon says. "And no matter how much you may try to act like it, you are not my equal.

> take Drakon back inside and buy him a drink

You take Drakon back inside and buy him a drink. After drinking, Drakon begins to laugh.

"It was nice meeting you sir," he says. "Now let's finish this fight."

You continue fighting until the sun sets and night comes again.

> slice his throat and say "We are not equals!"

You slash Drakon's throat open and yell "We are not equals!" Drakon falls backwards onto the ground.

"I told you I wasn't going to lose, now you'll never win," he says.

> bury Drakon despite him still taunting you

You dig a hole and bury Drakon. He doesn't even make any more attempts to attack you after that.

Afterwards, you realize that you were right; the dragon was right too: humans aren't equal.

> go back into the bar and look for the dragon

You return to the bar and look for the dragon. When you find him, he's gone.

"Well that was interesting," you think as you leave the bar with a bottle of wine in hand.

> the end

The End