EP376 #2

Posted under EP376 #2, Story On By Chief

The smell of summer
The breeze on the lake
Boating accident or not, you're going to have to go back. You know it and so does your sister, but she doesn't seem to be in any hurry.
you look behind you and cant believe your eyes, PIRATES! There are four men with long poles paddling towards you at a good pace. They all wear red shirts and they don't look like pirates.
You see your sister has been kidnapped by the pirates.  You must fight them. You must save her. You turn to your sister but she is already running away from the canoe, you go after her but fall into the water in the process.
you climb back into your boat and scrounge for something to arm yourself with. you find:1. paddle2. oar3. waterproof matches4. knife
You decide to use your paddle first.
you whittle the end of the paddles with the knife and turn it into a spear. You set the spear on fire and launch it at the pirates. One of them falls off his broom. The other three turn around and see you.

You don't know what to do.
You realize one of the pirates looks like Johnny Depp.
"I come in peace," Johnny says.
"You'd better not be."
You explain further:
"Well, I wanted to meet you. You're my idol. Can we be friends?"
"Alright," Johnny Depp says, "but creep much?".
you show your wounds:
"Will you help me get to land?".
"Sure," Johnny says, "just sit there in the back. Hold on to me."
you do as he says and sit on the broom behind him.
you wrap your arms around Johnny and feel light-headed as your grip his abs. He starts to fly away from the boat.
Johnny flies over to land and holds on to a lady dressed in a red dress and some black boots. He gives her the tip of your spear.
The moral of the story: Don't go on a boat ride with someone unless you are in a support group for people who can't get over their lost relationship.