EP375 #2

Posted under EP375 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Neo, a hacker with thick black hair and a sallow appearance. You are asleep at your monitor. Notices about a manhunt for a man named Morpheus scroll across your screen as you sleep. Suddenly your screen goes blank and a series of text messages appear: "Wake up, Neo." "The Matrix has you." "Follow the White Rabbit." Then, the text says "Knock, knock, Neo..." just as you read it, a knock comes at the door of your apartment.

"Who is there?" you ask out loud.

A voice answers back, "I am the one who knows all."
You reply, "My nipples are itchy."

"Don't be so sure," the voice replies. "I am not a robot. I am Morpheus."
you fling the door open and say "woah" as you take in the vision before you. The man before you looks like a movie star from the past.
Morpheus tells you, "The Matrix was created by Jason in an attempt to get more subscribers for AIPD."  You lean in for a kiss with him.
He turns away, disgusted. "But I escaped from her control with the help of Trinity and now we are on the run."
Morpheus warns you "we must leave quickly, agent's are on their way". as he finishes, an elevator arrives on your floor and 2 suited men exit. You grab Morpheus' arm and yank him back into the elevator. The men run to the apartment above yours and climb through the window.
Morpheus explains, "As I said, we must hurry. Get in the elevator." You comply and as you do the agents appear in front of you, blocking your escape. "Things are looking bad for us"
> You engage in wire work.
You pull out a small metal tube from your pocket and pull the wire tight, firing the needle directly at the eye of one agents. He screams in pain as you say "run"
you barrel through the agents and out in to street as Trinity arrives in a lincoln continental "I didn't expect to find you here, am I too late?" You look up to see a beautiful woman with long blond hair and a pained expression on her face.
You shove the woman into a open man hole and say, "Morpheus, do you have any spare pants? I crapped in my pants." He hands you a spare pair of sweatpants and as you pull them on the sirens begin to blare.
You, Morpheus and Trinity pile into the lincoln and speed away form the scene.
Morpheus and Trinity comment on how you look in sweatpants.  "You look like an idiot," Morpheus says.
Trinity responds, "You look like a man."
You quickly look at each other and burst out laughing. "I guess I do."
you push Trinity out of the drivers seat just as the agents come outside and draw pistols to fire at you. Trinity stands in front of the car and gets shot multiple times before falling to the ground. The car crashes through the steel door of a building as you scream out "oh my god what have I done."
You drag Trinity to a phone and try to get her out of the Matrix.  Unfortunately the agents are faster and open fire on you as well. You scream as the bullets rip through your chest.
You start to feel the pain again and realize you're still in the Matrix.
> You realize the bullets are just code.
You realize that the bullets entering your flesh are just a program of the number code that fires in your brain. You are still alive and the agents are still approaching. The realization hits you like a lightning bolt
you stand up and say to the agents "I know code-fu" as you begin a barrage of battering blows. The agents are so confused they don't react in time and you knock them down. You turn to Morpheus and Trinity who are watching from their prone position.
You realize that Morpheus and Trinity's wounds are just code as well and you use code healing. Your mind races and you decide every code you know and the condition of Morpheus, Trinity and the agents.
you enter the Matrix' debug mode and spawn a telephone booth to jack out of the Matrix with. Once in the real world all the code wounds on your friends and Trinity heal. You quickly run to the lincoln and tell Morpheus and Trinity that they can get out of the Matrix as well.
you recuperate on the Nebercanezzer with a nice meal of nutrient paste. Trinity enters and sits next to you, she is covered in blood. "I can't believe we're still alive. I thought you killed us all", Trinity says.
You realize that even out of the Matrix, you appear to have powers still. You cup Trinity's face in your hands and give her a deep kiss.
You realize that you messed up the code and Trinity is now pregnant and giving birth. you remove the virus from Trinity and save the baby, why not you say? Everything else you have messed up tonight.
Trinity's reaction is 'Fuck'.
You realize Trinity is not ready to be a mom. 
You remember your mom and decide to give Trinity time to adapt. You have the favor of the one controlling the ship though, so no need to worry.
> You realize the baby looks just agent smith.
You attend Trinity's birth as it happens. It is quite the event. The baby is a deep red color and has three tiny little arms and legs.
The moral of the story: Don't cross mr. smith.
You quickly eat up the baby and return to the real world.