EP374 #2

Posted under EP374 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Jason and you are with your adopted son Tony.  You and Tony are enjoying your time on the Ferris wheel.  Everything is going great, until it gets stuck at the very top of the ride.
You look at the very important gears to see the problem: a big stack of Cory's clothes have gunked up the works and are stuck in the gears. The gears will not turn.
"We can't go down there," says Tony. "It's dangerous."
"What about me?" asks Cory.
You try to lighten the mood by saying, "Ska-badabadabadoo-belidabbelydabbladabbladabblabab-belibabbelibabbelibabbelabbelo-doobelidoo."
"It's a long way down," says the operator, "I think you guys should just enjoy the view until someone rescues you."
"Fine," says Tony.
> You embrace Tony in a reassuring hug.
You embrace your son and say, "I'm sorry we can't go down. This is a sweet wheel."
A tear falls from his eye. You wipe it away and continue to try not to make him cry.
Tony asks you where Cory's clothes come from.  You explain that your mom gave them to you. Then, he wonders where your duck licks. You tell him you are not sure, but you believe it must come from your heart.
"I love you."
you look Tony in the eyes and say "I love you too son. I  think we have the courage to climb down, hold onto me with your strong thighs."
"Okay, Dad."
With that, you begin to climb down the Ferris wheel.
You reach the bottom of the Ferris wheel and sit there for a moment and then you notice someone in the distance.
He runs toward the nearest car and kicks it with all his might, launching it at the giant wheel. It slices through and slices the giant wheel, crippling it. Ozzy looks up and sees you people standing there.
"Get out of the gosh darn way!" he yells.
Ozzy looks at you and scream mumbles "WE'RE GOING OFF THE WHEELS ON A CRAZY WHEEL!"
You run and leap into the time machine. The world begins to speed up and you feel like you are flying. Then, you feel a big impact and you see a flash of light.
You go back in time to just before you are about to board the Ferris wheel with Tony.  Everything appears to be exactly the same except for a pile of turds that have appeared in your hands.
You look around and set the pile of dog shit down.
"Were you just standing here the whole time?" you hear a voice ask. You realize it is your younger, adopted son, Nicky.
Tony immediately becomes jealous of Nicky.
"Mom gave me some shit about this."
"That's because he didn't do his chores," you say.
"Why don't we shove dog shit into the machine then?" asks Nicky.
> You see Nicky has some Corey's Clothes sticking out of his backpack and a look of revenge in his eye.
"What's going on?" you ask.
"Nothing," says Nicky looking down.
"You're not hanging out with us anymore," says Cory.
"Why?" asks Nicky
You realize that Nicky is solely responsible for all the chaos he caused.  You give him a stern talking to. Everyone there seems relieved that you are getting Nicky off of his hands.
You say, "Only an idiot would do what you did."
"Yes," says Nicky.
You tell Nicky you love Tony more than him, then you get on the Ferris Wheel.  Later, you get off and walk toward home. You think about how you will apologize to your kids about the dog shit.
Ozzy Osbourne interrupts dinner that night exclaiming "Hhrrrmrrphyaaamyagagagaahhhhhhh!!"
"Ozzy, language," you say.
"That's tomorrow they'll put me in jail," says Ozzy. "I don't think I'll make it out alive."
You and your family all have a good laugh that you are still alive and not trapped on a ferris wheel anymore as Ozzy sings Crazy Train. Everything seems perfect until you see a blue, ghostly figure standing in the corner. You panic and stab it with a fork, revealing it to be Nicky.
"You're ruining my joke!" he complains.
you "accidentally" keep stabbing Nicky.
In the middle of the night, he disappears and you wake up to find him standing over your bed.
"I'm sorry for killing your son."
"Happens all the time."
The moral of the story: Always listen to your parents and do the dishes
You did it! You defeated your son and destroyed the first machine. Expect many more exciting adventures to come. This is just the beginning.