EP373 #1

Posted under EP373 #1, Story On By Chief

Meet Danny Trejo.
"Hey, dicks out for Harambe!"
You know how it is. You have to be a little more creative with your jokes, but you can't help yourself. It's not like anyone else will hear them anyway. 

"What the fuck did you do this time?"
> You apologize to Danny Trejo.
"I'm sorry, I just...shit."
"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. Just tell me what happened and we'll get on with it."
Danny waits for your answer but you cant take your eyes off of Danny Trejo's dick. Even flaccid it looks menacing.
"Woah. Just like the one he has in all his movies."
You realize you just said that out loud. Your day just keeps getting better.
"God damn it, I'm sorry Mr. Trejo. I wasn't expecting your...your..."
Trejo puts his hand on your shoulder and says,
"It's alright kid. Now tell me what the hell you did."
You reveal your trouble past to Danny Trejo and explain all the terrible things you have done recently. You start to tear up during the description of Dawn's death. Mr. Trejo gives you a hug and pats your back while you sob into his chest. He lets go after a moment and says,
"Alright now tell me, what do you think needs to be done?"
You wipe away your tears and sniffle, then say through a sniffle,
"I think I need to go to the police."
Danny Trejo's menacing dick tells you to ,
"COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE"
You grab Danny's dick and he runs off.
"What the fuck are you doing!?"
You bolt out of your seat and begin running down the hall. You hear gloved fists pounding against the bathroom door as you try to figure out how to escape.
you hide in one of the stalls as you see the shadow of Danny's menacing dick go through the bathroom, the shadow stops in front of your stall. THUD.
"GET OUT!"
You get out of your stall and try to open the door, but it's locked.
You see an AC vent right above the bathroom stall you are in.  You climb into it and pass by Pierce Bronson as you escape. After getting out you crawl through, when you reach the end of it, you run into a wall. Seems like an dead end...until you slide down the tube and fall in some soft, but deep substance.
you take a taste of the substance, you recognize it as  Marijuana.
You crawl out of the room and into another.
You are shocked to see that in this room is a coked out Kevin Smith, lying on a bean bag chair.
"Holy shit."
You crawl over to him.
"Wait, are you the guy that did the movie podcast?"
Kevin Smith says fuck a lot, then points you down the hallway. 
"That way."
You take a step forward and get stuck in some stubborn substance.
"Ah, shit."
You break free of it and run but you end up getting stuck again.
"Help!"
You are saved by the Cincinnati Zoo sniper.
He aims at the man and shoots.
"Got 'em motherfucker!"
You quickly move on.
The moral of the story: listen to movie podcast intros and respect the man Kevin Smith.