You are a merchant in an ancient Egypt bazar. You sell many shiny things at your stall. The day is slow and the air is hot. Not many customers today. Suddenly a loud bang is heard in the bathhouse not far from your stall. A man holding a bloody dagger comes running out of the bathhouse and points at you. You quickly grab a small potion vial and start chugging it, soon enough you feel better and continue on with your business. The next morning you hear a noise outside the bathhouse and go to investigate. you go inside to see a man leaning over a body. He introduces himself to you "I'm detective Ebson. do you know anything about the victim?" he asks. "No I don't." you reply. "Then why did you come here? You could have been killed by someone else." "Who are you?" the detective asks. You see two piles of clothes that belong to Cory from AIPD and quickly pick them up to avert suspicion and tell Detective Ebson, "I'm just on my way to do my laundry!" You sniff one of the clothes and it smells like smoke. You realize that you don't have much time so tell the detective what happened in the bazar, emphasizing the part about the bang. > You describe the noise you heard to the detective. You explain what happened to you to the detective. He doesn't seem surprised and says, "We need to get this guy." He turns and notices the pile of clothes that you took from the dead man. You know this looks bad and you run. Detective Ebson chases you through the busy bazar. You look back just in time to see him trip and fall. He seems too old to get up again. Your legs give out from under you and you're found dead in a few hours. > You wake up in a tomb inside the great pyramid. You wake up in a small stone chamber inside the pyramid with a funny taste in your mouth and not feeling very well. You feel like you're going to vomit many times but nothing happens. you look around the tomb for something to eat and see a table with a giant tomblerone on it. you snap a pyramidal piece off and eat it. It tastes like iced cardboard but you feel better. You fall asleep in the tomb for hours and days pass by. You wake up thinking it's night but when you look out the window, you see it's already afternoon. You to a mirror and see that you have become a mummy. You fall back asleep and have to use the bathroom bad in your dreams. you wake up to see you've pissed your wraps. It's a little late to change your clothes now so you just change into a new wrap. You go to the window and see many pyramids around. You feel somewhat better. You check out your neighbor's pyramid and meet your fellow mummy, Pharaoh Hotep. Hotep tells you about the changes around the land and explains that he's trying to free himself from his sarcophagus. You notice a man with a mask sneaking around Hotep's tomb. You recognize him as the Spy from Team Fortress 2, who is secretly Ebson. You don't know what he's trying to steal, but you don't like it. you notice spy is digging through a sarcophagus when he yells "Yes, I've found it" and hold up "your eternal reward" You rush at him and try to take the jar from his hands, but he drops it and runs. You manage to catch it just as it shatters on the ground. You notice an odd stench and then you realize that the jar was filled with your organs. You've been tricked by the bastard spy and your organs are now seeping into the ground. you yell " I should have won that melee, spy!" before losing your mind. > You take a secret shortcut in the pyramid and catch the spy before he escapes. You walk quickly and quietly to the edge of the tomb and jump out. You fall for an excruciatingly long time. You arrive in a dark room with a single operating table. The moral of the story: You should have been more careful. You yell for help into the blackness, but your voice is silent. It seems that you're stuck here on the other side of the operating table.