EP371 #1

Posted under EP371 #1, Story On By Chief

You are Tony, a streamer who has a great singing voice. Dave Seville, the greatest music manager of all time, hears you sing and is very impressed. He offers you a music career. You accept. One evening, you are on stage and start performing some songs. However, you leave your own concert fifteen minutes in, so you can sneak into a screening of an R-rated film. Dave starts looking for you, while screaming, "Tony!"

You hide behind a table as he runs around the theater. Suddenly, you hear him shout: "Hey! What's going on?"
You stand up in the theater mid movie and start singing Marvin Gayes "What's going on?". Dave comes running to see what's going on. He sees you and says: "Oh my God! I've been hired by that guy from the music video!"

"I'm not working with him."
Dave hands you tickets for "Monster Inc 2" which has been mistakenly Rated as a R Rated film by the American Film Standards Agency. You and your wife go watch it. The couple sitting next to you give you dirty looks because you both got into a PG film mistakenly admitted.
you say to the couple "Father father we don't need to escalate."
The dad replies "I'm not his father, I'm his step-father."
You decide against getting any milkshake.
You pour your milkshake on the dad.
"That's it, you're going to jail. This thug puts up with sexual harassment."
You are arrested and spend 30 years in jail.
One of your fellow prisoners asks you for some of your "milkshake" (candy) in exchange for an early release.
You ask him if he really wants an early release, as you'll be leaving jail with nothing but the clothes you're wearing.
You make the trade and help the prisoner break out of jail while you suck on your milkshake candy.
The candy takes three weeks to dissolve inside of you. You escape from jail just as you've finished the sixteenth king-sized candy!
You manage to escape prison as well and you see a car waiting for your.  The driver tells you that those candies you ate where actually candy coated bags of heroin.  You see diarrheic medicine and know to do.
The heroin takes a very short time to take effect. You, sadly, overdose and die.
Hence, nobody can save your singing career.
Your former manager makes a speech at your funeral.
"This boy coulda been a famous singer, but he decided to go down the criminal route. I'm sorry he died."
Your funeral cost $3,000.
You are buried with the Blueprints of the Prison drawn by a Blind 90 year old man named Cletus.
1: You are Greg Lake, the greatest musician who ever lived. In addition to being a Musician, you were also a music Producer, Songwriter and partially owned your own Personal Record Label.
The moral of the story: even with your music and personality, you couldn't manage to become a forefather of the modern-day record labels.