EP367 #1

Posted under EP367 #1, Story On By Chief

You are The Cat in The Hat. You are applying to be in the movie release of the hit musical Cats. You need to display all your unique, whimsical qualities to join the cast and become a star!

But first, you have to prove yourself worthy of being on stage with such a legendary group as the Cats. Will you be able to do it?
> You take a DNA test to determine whether you are a jellical cat.
You decide that you will take a DNA test to see if you are a jellical or not. It is only fair since they are going to be judging your abilities.
The DNA tests reveal that you are 100% 100% 1/2 human. The rest are figures only a geneticist could even comprehend, let alone comprehend the magnitude of.
You panic and ask what your result means.
Garfield enters the office and explains your test results. He says you're neither a jellical and not even human. Instead you are something called a 'humanimal'.
You level up and gain the following humanimal powers:
Life : Humans have extraordinary resilience, always able to come back from the brink of Death.
Wits : Your couragous, determined mindset keeps your Wits strong and keen.
you pull down your pants and ask Garfield "Identify my genitals."
"Cat genitalia, The Cat in the Hat."
"Good to know." You reply.
"Now identify my stomach, I'm really hungry."
> You pay Garfield in lasagna.
You pay hundreds of dollars to have lasagna sent to Garfields.
"Wow, that's a lot of lasagna." He says.
"I'm really hungry, where's the nearest McDonalds?"
You and Garfield arrive at McDonalds only to see the front entrance blocked by Cory's Clothes with a Note written by a Rat who keeps on stealing Cory's Clothes.
"I don't want to go in the front, it's too crowded..."
I guess we'll have to go in the backdoor." You say.
"That would be breaking and entering!
> You go in through the backdoor. In the kitchen, you see a sign that says SORRY OUR LASAGNA MACHINE IS OUT OF ORDER.
"There's got to be another way into the room where all the clothes are being held"
you look around the McDonalds Kitchen for something to break the door down with a find a  knife on the counter, rusty and old but still sharp.
"I guess you better come with me." You tell Garfield.
You and garfield both enter the room with the blocked off entrance.
A worker confronts you in the the kitchen. To distract him, you say, "Can you get me 30000 Big Macs and 500000 Happy meals,and yes that is all for my dinner tonight."
He runs off but the tape is still intact and the rats have not gotten the clothing, yet. You enter the room they are holding the clothes in by squeezing between the tightest parts.
You enter the locked room and are shocked to see that it has an open window and the rats are nowhere to be found. "Looks like the rats are smarter than we thought." You say.
You both exit the room with all of the clothes.
> You and Garfield are so hungry that you eat Cory's clothes.
You gladly accept the clothes as your meal. You have no shame and are hungry.
The Rats pull up in a van and the jump out wearing the clothing.
You turn to the rats and let them know you've been bested by saying, "O.K. Rat guards, you win today but just wait until tomorrow." The rats do not seem impressed by your courageous remarks and instead continue driving like nothing happened.
> You are left alone in the moonlight with only your memories.
You realize that you have no real memory before you were three.
The moral of the story: There is no moral.
Until one day when you are whiling away the time by reading 'The Great Gatsby. You feel a great sense of familiarity whil reading the famous green light and can remember things from your past. read the Raven that Edgar Allen played by then you remember all of your memories.