EP366 #1

Posted under EP366 #1, Story On By Chief

You are Samuel Haggar, a retired wrestler. It's a hot summer's day and you're stuck in traffic. The driver of the 90's convertible gets out and approaches you when you beep your horn in frustration.

"Hey, I see you got that new cruiser bike for your birthday. What's it called?" he asks.
> You say "Honda Goldwing"
He looks at you like you just said something really stupid. He then turns to his passenger who is also a guy with long hair and wears sunglasses.
you challenge them both to a wrestling match, winner gets the loser's pink slip.
You bash the guy with the long hair over the head with the cruiser. The guy in the glasses tries to shoot you with his t-shirt but misses.
you humiliate the guy in glasses and take his t shirt. The girl behind the counter looks at you like a mother does at a bad child. She pulls out a tiny hammer from her tool belt and whacks the guy over the head with it.
after you put on your new t-shirt, you say to the man with the head wound " How about a race to Dead Man's Curve?"
Man: Fine, I'll race you! But let's make it a two-lap race, Dead Man's is one of those kind where you have to watch out for ghosts splitting the road in half.
You notice a ghost in a pile of clothes that Cory from AIPD dropped nearby. You chuck the ghost on top of the man with the head wound. drives off and hits a car but not full speed, his car is only pushed back a bit.
the driver of the new car gets out to beat up the man with the head wound, you try to interrupt the fight with few shots from your t-shirt.
You have killed: 1 human being.
You start walking back to the cruiser when another car arrives and the driver wants to race you.
> You agree to race, but only if he takes the blame for killing the human being.
"Fine, but I'm Driving."
You agree to a race over to Dead Man's Curve. You take first place. The Man gets out and admits to having murdered his neighbor.
> You see the road begin to split down the middle due to a ghost  .
"On 3, we race" he says.
You both lean far over to the right to avoid ghosts coming out from between the rails. You beat him by .3 seconds and take first place.
You go to daycare to pick up your daughter.  you notice the back area is strangely deserted. a lady approaches you. it's the same lady from the night before.
you say "back for seconds?"
She says "I'm really sorry about last night, I should've realized that was out of stock. We have a standing dinner reservation at 8:00 and I didn't want to be late"
you reply "that's ok, you can make it up too me over dinner"
She raises an eyebrow and says "I'm at 3rd and Jane, come over when you drop off the kid"
you push your daughter off your motorcycle and say "I'm ready now let's go!"
You arrive at the restaurant, the host seat you and the lady next to you.
She is a very beautiful and elegant woman in a classy dress, high heels and a fancy hair piece.
You and her ride into the sunset naked. the End.
You and her arrive at the station after riding slowly (due to wind and speed limits). The captain says "see you in 10 minutes, be prepared to lend support".
The two of you board a chopper and fly off into the sunset.
The moral of the story: it's nice to be the hero sometimes, but only sometimes.
"We have 10 minutes" she says "we can do whatever you want"
You lay on top of her and begin kissing.