EP365 #3

Posted under EP365 #3, Story On By Chief

You are JasonTonyJimCoryFan and you have an obsession with Cory's clothes. Recently you stole a truck full of Cory's clothes and now you need to make sure to drop them around the city in random locations. You start with dropping one bundle of Cory's clothes at a time, but then you realize that it is not going to be enough so you decide to try to do more than just one thing at once.
you decide to call this new invention multitasking. It's actually pretty simple really, you just need to keep on doing things while keeping your mind occupied with other things.
you write a book about multitasking while you distribute Cory's clothes.
You continue to have success with your idea, people want to hear about the "secret" of how to do so many things at once.
You sell out and arena to business tycoons, rich bankers, and the most powerful people in America.  You step on stage and say, "The secret is Cory's clothes." and walk off stage. Everyone in the audience looks at each other, this is something they have been looking for because like you know now, they are all secretly obsessed with the clothes.
you sell merch that is recreations of Cory's clothes after the show. You get a cut of the profits.
The media picks up on your ideas and they become huge. You get offered movie deals, games, and 'How to be a more productive person' books.
One night you hear a knock on you door.  You open the door and see Corey crying. He is in his Cory clothes and holding a bunch of clothes. He says,
"I'm ready to invest, please make me a very rich man."
You smile and let him in.
you force Cory to sign clothes all night, which you sell as "exclusive autographed limited print" clothes that everyone wants. You make enough to buy a mansion and hire several Cory clones.
Cory is a saint to work with, he is happy to be immortalized in clothes. He also seems to genuinely like you.
Cory realizes you are cheating him out of his share of the profits.  He is not mad about it though and just asks that you throw a big party for him.
You oblige and continue to make money hand over fist.
You have the biggest party that the world has ever seen.  You invite famous guests such as Frank Sinatra, John Lennon, Tyra Banks, and many many more. You make a point to hire a bunch of less famous but also important looking people so it seems like you invited everyone when you flew in celebrities.
You snort a line of cocaine with Frank Sinatra clone in the bathroom. It appears to kick in immediately.
You take John out for a spin in your new hover car. You also manage to convince him to do a few songs at the party.
John plays his biggest hits:1. Imagine2. Let it be3. I'm smiling Now4. Woman (You're in love with a woman)5. Woman (You're in love with a woman)6. Woman 7. Mother Mary8. I Want You (SHIT I've been a bad boy)9. We Are the World
The party is a huge success and makes you really really famous.
You offer to drive Cory home in your vintage batmobile that you've rebrand as the Corymobile.  The seats are made from Cory's clothes.
He thanks you and says while he was drunk on your cocaine he finally wrote the greatest song ever. The one that you will remember him forever for.
Cory sings for you:
I want to hold you feel you under me
I want to slip myself inside you
But I've hurt you enough tonight
We fall asleep in the Corymobile and wake up with a nasty hangover. We go to a diner and order pancakes. While waiting for our food, we hear a commotion outside. We peek outside to see that a crowd of people are fighting over the last pancake.
you send the Cory clones out to bring you that last pancake.
You and Cory both have breakfast from the pancake. It's delicious.
You might make the best decisions ever today.
The moral of the story: Be nice to pansy ass singer-songwriters, they can make you rich.