EP360 #2

Posted under EP360 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Bobby a former child, now, arguably, a person. Due to neglect of your parents your upbringing was tough. The only form of education you had was a full Nickelback discography. Now as an adult you can only speak in verses from Nickelback songs. You decide to become Nickleback's manager. You start the job interview saying "Look at this photograph. Every time I do it makes me laugh" 

The interviewer looks at you and laughs. He says "You're funny, but not very good looking."

He then asks you more questions about yourself. Eventually he gives up and tells you that he'll have to reject you because his company is hiring.

You feel disappointed, but also angry.
You just pretend like you go the job and hop on the tour bus as Nickelback is about to do a tour across America.
You end up following the bus in a car while you listen to "How You Remind Me." Eventually you meet the band when they stop at a gas station.
You pull over in the gas station and level up and gain the following lying powers:
You pretend to be a representative from a recording company and give the band a tape of someone singing " Photograph." You come clean after they seem to enjoy it.
You meet Pennyfarthing, the 19th century band Nickleback ripped off of, also at the gas station. They challenge you to a a battle of lying. The winner joins the other band on tour.
You give your best three lies:
1. The gaurd tells you that the band died in a plane crash, But they didn't.
2. The barrier was moved, and you just drove through a fancy dinner. ( For some reason it should be better to this lie)
3. You say you have gotten permission to be on the tour bus. 
The winner of the battle is determined by the opposing side's reaction to your lies.
The first two is countered with " The guard is lying and the plane was actually fixed".
The second two is countered with " The barrier was fixed "
Who ever reacts first with anger to your lie or seems the most confident that the barrier wasn't moved is the winner.
Nickelback declares the winner is pennyfarthing and ride to next gig together, leaving you at the gas station waiting for a friend's parent to pick you up.
Your friend's parent picks you up three later and on the long car ride home you reveal your troubled past to him. He in return tells you about the troubled past that his dad went through.
It turns out, through this conversation, that all your friend's parent needed was a little bridge encouragement.
Your friend's dad stops the minivan at a bridge and gets out.  To this day you don't know if he jumped off the bridge or just got out to pee.
You hop in the driver's seat and peel off to chase after the Nickelback tour bus.  You drive all through the night, but finally catch up with them at a Motel 6. You tell them you had a fight with your friend and need a place to stay. Then you just crash in the tour bus.
You tell Chad Kroger, "have you heard of Tony's sexy cover Version of 'Rockstar'?" he seems interested and you join them in the tour bus to jam out to some music.
Chad presents you with a locked chest. He tells you the combination is on the back of the cover of the album "The State" by "The Arabs." You open it to find an ancient, dusty mandolin.
You say, "I accept your offer." you begin your musical career with the mandolin XD
The next morning the police inform you that your friend's parent are dead. You are sent to youth jail for the crime.
you get 100 hours of community service as your punishment and are forced to clean the venue of the next Nickelback concert. Chad Kroger sees you and reveals he joined the tour after your arrest.
He says, "you know why I listen to Nickelback?"
You respond, "why?"
He says, "they sing about real life stuff, Rockstar, Photograph, this is how I pictured it would be"
> You lean in for a kiss then give Chad some bridge encouragement.
He lets you out, and to this day when he takes the stage he gives you a wink and yells out "I had help writing this song!"
You did it, the moral of the story, listen to Nickelback
You unwrap a CD of Weird Al's Photograph parody and say to yourself, "Chad, LOOK AT THIS GRAAAAAAPH"
Then you drive to a sky scraper, because this app is over 9,000 pages long and it's glitching.
Nickelback collaborates again in 2016, but that's another story.
The moral of the story: Listen to Nickelback, then one day someone will make sweet, sweet love to you on the bow of a boat.