EP359 #2

Posted under EP359 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Sanstar. Master Tong Ng has made a deal to get you out of flavor hell if you prepare the most delicious hellish food ever cooked. If you succeed he will return the moonstone to you. You must use the following hellish ingredients in your recipe:

1) Blood from a thousand human corpses, boiled and strained until it becomes blood red. (This is very important!)

2) Human Flesh, cut into strips and fried until golden brown.

3) Red Hot Rocks that can only be found on the surface of hell, but are so hot they melt metal. They burn like lava! (The rocks have been enchanted with fire magic.
4) Chemical Clum, a plant that grows only on the shores of the River Styx. It glows green like a tiny ghost and has special acidic abilities.
5) One of the 3,000 eyeballs that Momras personally gifted to Thing Cross's ass. Pick any one you like. (This is a freebie! But you still must use at least one.)
Slogging through this list you are already beginning to doubt if you even want that moonstone back. The amount of ingredients disgust and not to mention the pain!
using the listed ingredients you create the following 7 course meal:1. Gilded Fried-raven Combo - Sounds delicious right?
You serve this dish to Master Tong Ng and he says, "It looks disgusting." But of course he has to taste it, so he does. He spits it out immediately, and his face turns green. "You IDIOT! This is NOT what Nightmare Food is supposed to BE! Do you even know what Nightmare Food is?
> You watch a YouTube video on how to make Nightmare Food.
You rush to your nearest computer and type in, Nightmare Food! It's the first search result so you click on it. The video describes Nightmare Food as the following: Nightmare Food is the food of the Gods. It's so delicious creatures like hounds and hellhounds would give any god an immortal snack* to have it.
You see Issac 2: Holding his cat Guppy, he takes a big bite of Nightmare Food.
The video you click on next shows the mooncakes being made... but beofre that, the most stressful part plays and it is about ingredient #1 - blood.
You say, "the cat is fucking raw!"
Blood must be fresh. 1) get a cat 2)kill it 3)bleed it 4)bbut I'm a vegetarian says Olivia, screwing the top back on her glittery red nail polish .
You killed a cat for nothing and you make Olivia Newton John the best hell vegan dish you can think of: baked beans and toast. Not only is it NOT nightmare food, it doesn't feed the soul either.
Master of the house frowns. "This isn't Nightmare Food."
> You get sick of this shit and snatch the moonstone from around Master Ng's neck.
The hotness of the moonstone burns your cold skin as you apply it to your neck, right below your head.
The power of the moonstone courses through you. You turn your attention towards your sous chef and say, "You are fired."
"Hell no." He says as he storms out.
You assume the role as Head Chef and completely change the menu mid service.  Every meal is now beans and toast!  The customers find this great as none of the meals aren't delicious and all of them have silver medals around their necks. You sell most of your menu because that's just how magical you are now.
The moral of the story: never trust a cold blooded, scaly, snaky, sexy chef with power.