Rubber duckie gifts.
You can't believe it! You've made your dream come true! And all you had to do was give up on the idea of being a model for a few years.
You put on your favorite shirt: a gamer shirt that says "Born to Shit, Forced to Wipe". The one with the giant skull and crossbones on it. It's got a picture of a black cat on the front, and an arrow pointing at the back saying "KILLER THAN BITCHIN'"
People start making bootlegs copies of your gamer shirt. They sell those instead of all the other shirts you had. Your company goes through a couple of name changes, but your shirt is always their number one seller.
You look at the numbers and see that that top 3 selling tshirts having the following designs:
1. The skull and crossbones "Born to Kill" design.
2 a. Flaming-Skull "Too Hot to Handle" design.
3 a. Mutant-Hand "Too Far to Care" design.
You couldn't be happier with the path you've taken.
You look at a pile of clothes that are outside your office and notice they are Cory's clothes. There is even a note at the top that says "I'm still naked, and heading for Waffle House. Pitching a tent in your office until you get home."
You take the note and turn it into your next hit t-shirt: "Existential Dichotomy: Nude in Waffle House VS. Nerd in My Office".
You only wish that Eliza could see your success today.
Issac from the Binding of Issac, a crying child, walks into your office. He says that he doesn't find the humour in any of your shirts, and that you can remove his tear-ducts so you don't have to put up with him crying all the damn time.
you aim to please and instruct Isaac to get on the table so you can begin the surgery.
You grab your scalpel and switch on the laser micrometer device....
You say, "Who's brat is this?" as you finish up the surgery.
Isaac does not respond so you grab the signed photo of Hugh Jackman (which was a gift from your sister, and has brought you much joy over the years).
It reads: "Keep your chin up and always listen to the wisdom of Hugh."
You find yourself in a large room with at least 20 guys, each staring at a wall of monitors.
All of you are watching the movie "Logan."
You see an older man, barely paying attention to the monitor in front of him.
You go up to the man and ask him what's going on.
"We lost another one today," he replies.
You slam fist on the table and say, "Damn it! Not another one!!!" The man pushes you away and continues to slouch in his seat.
"Just another day at the office," he says as a young blonde woman walks by.
you shake the old man and give him the sage advice you received from Hugh Jackman "Keep your chin up and always listen to the wisdom of Hugh"
The old man does not respond and continues to stare at the monitor. Something tells you this isn't the Hugh Jackman from your day, but it doesn't matter at this point because something very weird is going on.
You realize that the movie on the monitor has changed. It is now "The Last Ship"
Older man slouches back and begins watching the screen intently, but you refuse to do so.
> You slap older man across the face and scream "Wake up!"
As the slap echoes through the bunker, you see men and women in uniforms coming out of rooms. One older man in a uniform grabs your shoulders and says
"It's OK, just a movie."
The movie has now changed to "Jurassic Park." The younger workers seem to enjoy it.
You boo loudly and begin to chant "MORE HUGH JACKMAN! MORE HUGH JACKMAN!"
The older man turns to you and begins to yell, "That's not even REAL Hugh Jackman!!" The rest of the bunkers occupants begin to boo and throw popcorn at you.
The man continues, "That's a 'roided up Christofer Lambert, and this film takes place in the Philippines! You're not actually from the 1800's, are you?"
The moral of the story: Apparently, people see what they want to see and hear what they want to hear.
Please send this morality tale to everyone you know so that they also know.