EP356 #2

Posted under EP356 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Bodzilla, the terrifyingly muscular supervillain. Your rival, the billionaire ape known as Bling Kong, has trapped you in a cage! But you are confident you can break those bars. You will show them all that you are the greatest of all super-villains!
> You bend the bars with your fearsome buttcheeks and escape the cage.
You do it! The bars are broken and you're free to run wild in the jungle. You've defeated your rivals, but now what? What's next for you?
As you venture back towards the ocean you see something rumbling beneath the surface, you look in awe as A giant mutated fish called Codzilla rises from the briny deep.
Next metal morrits wiggle and the earth shakes as a third creature from the deep appears, Dinosaur robot laaruga Mars arrives to feed on the humans underground.
You lean over to kiss Dinosaur robot laaruga Mars.
Then you hear a noise above the surface, a large creature with 4 legs and large antennae flies over head.
You pull back to see Dinosaur robot laaruga Mars's reaction to you kissing him. He seems indifferent to it as his heart is fuelled by uranium.
This chapter of your life is over, but what will happen next? Who knows? But one thing is for certain. Hell is coming to Earth and you are going to rule over it with your two mutant beasts.
All creatures the world over will live in fear, and rightly so. The super-human shall rule the Earth.
you fiercely flex to establish dominance over Bling Kong, Codzilla, and Laaruga Mars. The metal morrits wiggle, gripped by fear. Even you are in awe of your magnificence. All living creatures on the Earth will shudder your name and learn to fear it, as they did in the day of ancient Rome.
> You rule the Senate with pecks of steel.
With a mighty roar you crush the old senators underfoot and establish your rule over the world. your celebrations last for weeks as cities are torn asunder and history is written in the blood of puny humans.
> You wear nothing but a toga, to better accentuate your muscles.
The citizens of Earth cower before your mighty muscles, which you like to oil and show off to your loyal fans, which are majority of the population now.
Earth is not enough, you command construction of giant rockets to propel Earth through the solar system. in a few months you will reach Mars.
Soon, you will have made the whole solar system your domain.
> You turn mars into a whey protein farm.
Using the vast protein farms of mars, you promote health and fitness among the humans In every way you can, telling them that excess weight is shameful.
> You learn of an underground resistance of fat people.
The resistance is ruthlessly crushed when you have their heads swapped with the heads of abnormally cruel murderers, and paraded as an example to the fat people, who dare not protest now.
> You your wife gives birth to twins, who are both very fat.
A chariot reaches the white house and ambushes you. gladiator makers capture you and take you to the arena.
You fight in the arena against the fattest warriors in all the land: the Body of Christ.
You are tied to a cross as nails are driven into your tendons and arteries. you have a mouth gag forced into your mouth to stop you biting off your own tongue in agony.
While awaiting trial on the cross, you plea with the guard, Fat Stanley.
"Oh kind sir, please free me from this beastly cross and I shall reward thee." you plead.
The guard looks down at you with a twinkle in his eye
you say to the guard "I can get you all the party pizzas you could ever eat, if only you were to release me"
The guard's eye twinkles some more
"Oh yes?" he asks slyly "And how can you get us these party pizzas?"
"I have connections" you plead,
The guard licks his lips and daydreams of pizza while freeing you.  You take the guard to a secluded location and tell him the pizza is buried. In reality, you killed him and ate his corpse.
"Too easy" you tell yourself gleefully, having feasted on the guard's delightful balls, shaft and ass earlier.
The moral of the story: Fat people's lives are worth less than that of a ridiculously muscled man.