adrift in the sea salty air, strangles your lungs To drown, a mercy for you to die. The rest of the night is spent in silence, with only the occasional howl from a stray dog or cry of pain from an old woman. You find Green Lantern's power ring which fell out of Cory's pants. You put it on and turn into a Green Lantern and feel a rush of power wash over. The next thing you know, you're flying through the sky towards the city. You yell, "Haaaaark! Hark, Triton! Hark! Bellow, bid our father, the sea king, rise from the depths, full foul in his fury, black waves teeming with salt-foam, to smother this young mouth with pungent slime." Another day, you reckon. Good to be back. you use your green lantern powers to do your household chores:1. make breakfast 2.clean the toilet 3.water the lawn 4.take out the trash 5.wash the dishes 6.take the kid to school You say, "low bat." The lantern sputters for just a moment before it fades from your grasp. You sigh, before a green barrier drops into place in front of you. You come face to face with your mortal enemy: spiders. The small, translucent wall is blocking your path to the exit, and is swarming with spiders crawling over it. Some of them are larger than your head, and their eyes are slowly descending down to your height. You declare war on all spiders.You roundhouse kick a large one in the face and it goes careening into the barrier, exploding into gore. That does nothing but piss them off. You try to think about something happy. you push your kid through the spiders as you leap through a window. you look back to see spiders rushing through the broken window. you look around and find another opening to the street."BINGO!" you yell. you run through the streets feeking spiders under every car and around every corner. you slip into a backyard and out of sight. A tiny spider surprises you and hands you a peace treaty to end your war with the spiders. You peacefully enter the house and sit down to another episode of Judge Trouts. After all, you've got a family to feed and Soap Operas are an everlasting supply of laughter. Your son interrupts you while you are watching your soaps and says to you, "I'm Spiderman, daddy!" You laugh, "Only I'm allowed to be Spiderman." You hold out your hand, "Give me the mask. NOW!" "No!" Your son whimpers. you hit your son and ask again "give me the mask!" "No! It's mine! Mine mine mine!" You shake you head, Incorrigible. "That's it, go to your room." You wake up the next day to the Avengers standing over you. You see your son was not lying and is actually Spiderman. Thor reprimands you and says, "With great power comes great responsibility." Your punishment is watching the 1960s show while the kids play. "Ya smashed, Man. Those were the days, huh? you ask your son for his mask. It's the only thing you have left from him. you make a mask from newspaper and tape, just like the one he gave you before he died. You become a super villain: Shitty Paper Mask Man. It's not long before the police put your mugshot on milk cartons. you become a clown instead, but that isn't safe either. The moral of the story: Don't abuse your children, you could lose them forever. You say, "and now someones gonna milk me for my Clum" You grin as the police try to suck you dry. If only they new how painful it is before you become a mindless slave to their orders.