Got a hot date planned. Gonna be a spicy night! Need to get cumin. You can't wait for the next day, but you're having a hard time concentrating on anything right now. You just want to lay down and die. > You go down to the kitchen and start mixing spices. The first thing you need to do is figure out what kind of food this place serves. It's not like you have a lot of options here, so you'll probably end up eating some sort of stew or something. You tell the waitress, "I will be cumming hard, thanks to hard-cum pills." You can't ask for a particular meal, that can be used as a ploy to find out information. She says, "You mean, I'm giving you a hard-on right now?" Wow, what an immature woman. You tell the waitress, "I'm going to use this place's wi-fi, so I can watch AIPD. It's a really good show starring four amazing men." You notice her roll her eyes and walk away. That settles it, you can't stay here too long. At least you got information on what foods this place serves. You see the restaurant manage Jason Voorhees, walk up to your to make sure that no premarital sex is had. "So what'll it be? The special is a chicken caccitore." You're not in the mood for chicken, so you request rigatoni instead. > You your hard-cum pills are now working in full force. You don't even have to think about hard-ons anymore. It's just there, up and ready when old snickers McLovin' needs one. The waitress needs to bend over during this time. You throw your silverware on the ground and as the waitress bends over to pick them up you lean in for a kiss. With your face just an inch away from hers, she says, "I can't do this with you." You firmly pat her shoulder and say, "Get away, you have a lot to learn." That was way too close. You didn't even achieve penetration and already she's shutting you down. > You jason Voorhees brings you your rigatoni. You order a tea with your pasta, it seems like a good pairing. "Thanks for making that clear," you say. She smiles and says, "Will there be anything else?" > You order a Red Devil chocolate bar and give the waitress a wink. You have no intention of having sex with her. You just want to mess with this puritanical bitch. "Do you need my phone number?" the waitress asks. You ignore the waitresses question and ask, "Can I have a big bowl of Spag Bol with a side of Clum cheese?" She says, "We are out of purple bread, do you want to substitute normal bread?" You are not having a nice time with the waitresses. You say, "Hey, waitress, get out a computer. I wanna watch AIPD's livestream." She pulls out an overused iPlod and turns on the webcam. You see Ian, Anthony, Colonol Pureft and Master Chief in the corner of the screen. You wave for Jason Voorhees to come over to the table so you can ream the waitress on her shitty service in front of him. "Anyway..," you say. The waitress's eyes roll back into her head, and fall backwards in is chair. Ian looks at the camera and goes, "Oh-so-good," and bites in to his burrito. The waitress bursts out of her clothes, into the biggest pizza cutter you have ever seen. > You are startled and spill hot spag-bol all over your hard on. You scream out of pain as the hot liquid splashes into your lap. The woman--thing's blades turns into frames, and it begins cutting your hard-on off. The moral of the story: Hard-ons are painful. COMING SOON Surgario: A Whoreho... The next book in the series will be out soon!