EP350 #1

Posted under EP350 #1, Story On By Chief

You are Jason, the founder of AIPD. You are doing a longer stream than usual. You start getting ready to do the stream when you realize that you're out of butter. You are so upset about the lack of butter that you start angrily grimacing at your friends, Tony, Jim and Cory. You ask, "What did you do with my butter?" 

"Oh, I didn't know it was gone," says Cory. "I think we should get you some."

"No! No!" says Tony. "We need to focus on our game."
Cory asks "remind me of the game's rules."

Tony replies, "The rules are important, but they aren't everything. We need to have fun while playing this game."
Tony hands you the rules written down on a note card: 1. Everyone starts with 100 points. If you want to team up with someone, give them a thumbs up. Anyone you team up with can be the leader, but it has to be mutual. 2. Make it official by saying "we have a deal." 3. Make an offer to someone. Try not to be unreasonable if they say no. It's best if you trade evenly. 4. Whatever you do don't press the big red button unless you are willing to accept the consequences.
2 4 1 3

"I'm excited!" says Cory. "Let's go!"
You say "We Have a deal." and give a thumbs up to your friends. 

The Rules displayed on your computer screen say "No, no, no. Please choose again."
The computer sits out a strangely deformed 20 sided dice made by Reindrob Industries, they blink in different colors when thrown.  You pick it up and give it a roll.
"You get a 7! 
You look at the chart that's supposed to tell you how many points each face is worth.
The chart says "nothing" "Nothing" and "Everything."
The computer asks you, "Which is it?"
you say "Everything" to the computer and it says "Sorry, you loose." 
You quickly yell at the computer "We'll Be Back.
You tighten up and take your next turn.
You challenge the computer to a Cards, 1-20 Game
You look at the cards that you were dealt, "Five" You think out loud.
you spice things up a little and say "Purple" as you throw all your cards on the table.
The computer looks at your prescored cards. 
"Sorry, those are no longer in play." the computer says.
You say, "Florgenstein!" and do a Fortnite dance.  You await for the computer to do a challenge dance. It dances badly and you doubled the amount of points you thought it was worth. The computer says, "That's right! You're in the lead now!"
The computer says "It is Tony's turn next, but he is busy with The latest volume of the hentai "dude stfu". Tony Moans loudly as he reads his favorite part aloud "And In the last part the goblin did Blarghgh a lot more. It was kind of gay.
you tell Tony to take his turn. 
all tony does is read the word 'Doh' Slowly and Annoyingly 
you tell tony that he's a dipshit for not being able to take his turn seriously.
You skip Tony's turn and look at Jim who is sitting in a meditative position. 
he says "Concentrate on what is really important." And bounces a little bridge on his nose. You try hard not to laugh out loud.
The computer says "BLURN" and spits out counterfeit money for Jim. 
The computer laugh gaily and reads on how Jim could lose all his money in just five minutes. 
Meanwhile, you start to get curious about the big red button.
you gaily push the big red button. 
The computer says "Deal.
The computer reads a very strange tale about three little pigs and a big bad wolf. The wolf tricks the pigs to go out of their house by saying "let me in. I'm all wet and the big bad hunter is out to get me." 
After the third little pig lets him in, he eats all of them. 
You all start laughing 
The computer says "Ha. Ha. Funny Story. Pretty soon it's gonna be your turn." it says with a tone of arrogance
The computer says "Let the game begin."
The computer says "Are you stupid?
you press the big red button over and over again until the computer starts to malfunction. The computer says "Please Stop ,you are messing up my software."
The computer says "Wahh. I'm cwyying,
You scan a volume of the hentai "dude stfu" into the computer. 
The computer says "that was a very naughty thing to do. what do you have to say for yourself?"
"You're an asshole" You reply, laughing.
The computer says "Oh Well".
The moral of the story: Computers are assholes
The computer says "It's been fun for now, but I'm afraid your game is over" 
The computer explodes in spectacular fashion.