You are Gambit, a member of the X-Men who throws explosive cards. You hear about a popular show on Netflix called The Queen's Gambit. You are upset that you weren't used in the show, so you decide to sue Netflix. The next day, you go to your local library and start looking up all the information you can find on The Queen's Gambit. you steal someone's Netflix login at the library. You get caught by security, but fortunately they don't have access to your personal info. You learn that it is based off of an old radio play from the 1930s. > You call your lawyer with this important information. You call your lawyer, who sounds very confused over the phone. "What are you talking about? I'm getting ready to go to court." "Can you postpone it?" you ask. You lawyer postpones his court date and meets you at the library where you show him the latest volume of the Hentai "dude stfu" now featuring Kyil grey 3 as the protagonist. You notice that there is a bibliography on the inside cover, and find a library sticker on the lower corner. Your lawyer angrily demands and explanation. "I bribed the library staffer to acquire hard copies of all the volumes," you explain. you hand the hentai to your lawyer and point out all the veiny bits. "After scanning it into our database we'll have proof that the show lifted its plot from a copyrighted work," you say. Your lawyer agrees, and asks you "Where does this go in the court case?" You tell your lawyer, "I'm afraid my penis is allergic to bazongas." and your lawyer agrees to take the case pro boner. You lose the case against Netflix; You are force-cast to make a full season of The Queen's Gambit. > You get to work on writing and producing The Queen's Gambit. You get a team of writers, directors, and scouts to help you produce The Queen's Gambit. You oversexualize chess. It does well on Netflix and you become the world's youngest millionaire. You produce a Gambit movie for Netflix starring yourself. Your dick doesn't grow but you get a smattering of applause from your peers and are regarded as the world's greatest troll. You write an acceptance speech. You thank yourself and ask if you can keep the award. The moral of the story: Nerds can't get laid. Hey, if you ever make it to patreon, consider this my support!