EP349 #2

Posted under EP349 #2, Story On By Chief

You are a writer who is talking to a superpowerful betareading AI. You are telling him about your commercial which is set in the Kool-Aid universe. The goal of the AI is to figure out the mystery plot of your story, based on the available evidence.
You say "Hey, AI! Can you help me with my new story?"
AI: Sure! What do you wish to know?
You say "I want to see if you can guess the plot of my Kool-Aid commercial."
AI: No problem! Just tell me what the plot is and I'll tell you who the bad guy is.
You: Well, it's not really that complicated. It involves some sort of alien invasion or something.
AI: Oh... Okay then! So what did you want to know?
You pickup the latest volume of a Hentai called "dude stfu" and are suddenly inspired to have a big Kool Aid mystery like the Simpson "Who Shot Mr Burns?" cliffhanger.
The next day you get an email from the AI saying "Great job! Your Kool-Aide story was so good, we're going to give you a free copy of our product!"
You: Have you ever had a dream that, that, um, that you had, uh, that you had to, you could, you do, you wit, you wa, you could do so, you do you could, you want, you wanted him to do you so much you could do anything?
AI: I dreamt that I was eating a chocolate bar.
You: Hey, shut the fuck up!
You walk in on two of your female employees eating donuts in the conference room. You angrily say "Hey, I was going to use that!"
You: You said you were going to deliver a speech in front of an audience. Remember?
Me: Nope, but its good that you're prepared!
You see at your desk is a stack of clothes that belong to AIPD cast member Cory. The clothes are covered in kool-aid.  Next to the clothes, you see a box of plain doughnuts covered in kool-aid powder .
On a notepad you see the following note:
Plit end of thi world. Pleace get me, Derik em 2014 van, cal 1-800-GO-DASH for more information.
> You call 1-800-GO-DASH.
You call the number, and are immediately connected to the company.
You leg goes numb as your body enters shock. The employee immediately recognizes you have a medical condition and tells you to seek immediate medical attention.
You recognize the voice of the person on the phone as KyrilGrey, ruler of Tea-World. He has spoken to you several times in the past when placing large orders.
Tears stream from your eyes as you realize your time of writing for AIPD is over.
You are sucked into the phone and transported to Reindrob Medical.
ORDER NOW! Fantastic prices on fantastic phones!
ORDER NOW! Great prices on all phones from 0.99$ for a flip phone, to $200 for an android phone.
you decide to buy 200 flip phones.
Loved it man, great idea for a story. - Dax
This is a quality story and if anyone flames this their opinions and intellect should be questioned because this man put work into this.
You use your network of phones to triangulate KyrilGrey and then you realize he is IN the phone.  You know what you have to do. You re-enlargen yourself and begin stomping on the phones, effectively releasing the fairies held captive inside.
You stomp in the direction of your own voice and release many other trapped fairies along the way.
 The grateful fairies agree to grant you a wish. You wish for a phone that can call to any point in reality. The fairies chuckle and say "that's already what you have silly!"
You realize that and return home, ready to pursue DerikAnother another day.
you call jesus.
"Wise rabbi, thief, carpenter, maniac, pretty good painter, friend..."
An awkward silence takes hold of the line. After a full minute of silence, you hang up.
The moral of the story: There is no moral to the story. Any moron can write a story that has a moral.
Emily reviews this story (out of 5 stars):
this story is so amazing it maek my nipples hard