EP348 #1

Posted under EP348 #1, Story On By Chief

What?! Main screen turn on!
All your base belong to us.
Take off every Zig!
You are now in the cockpit of a Zeppelin, with Captain Himmel and his crew.
Captain Himmel hands you Jason's clothes and says "get dressed soldier!" You look at him and he looks back at you. He is wearing a black suit with a red tie. His hair is cut short and he has a big fat nose.
"So what brings you here?"
> You say "I want to work on your Zeppelin, sir!"
"Well alright soldier. That's Captain Himmel to you though, Private. Do you know how to work a camera?"
"Sort of."
The screen begins to turn on slowly and flicker.
You see Red from Among Us appear on the screen, he keeps following you around, and Red says, "What's this? Someone turned on the main screen. Could it be?"
"Hm, what is it?" Captain Himmel says as he looks at the screen. "What you watching?"
"It's an old movie called 'E.T.' It's really good," Calvin says. "Samantha loves it."
"Hmm... maybe later then.
Captain Himmel leaves the room and Red stops pretending to be E.T. and tells you your new mission is to redirect the Zeppelin to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, a Large village on the Island of Anglesey, Wales.  You accept. Red reminds you to Send a Coded Message to Mr. France the Second, or Maurice.
You exit the room and enter a long hallway, on both sides are numerous doors, you see another Soldier running past.
you stop the soldier and say "Name and Rank Soldier! And where are you going?"
"Oh, private Infiltrate. I'm going to infiltrate the LZ."
"The LZ?"
"Yeah I gotta go." He runs off without hesitation or looking back.
You run to the kitchen to use the secret phone in the toaster and contact Maurice.  You tell Maurice the secret passphrase: ඥඞ ඩඞ. ෦ ක ට ප . He doesn't seem surprised, In fact, he doesn't seem to react at all.
> You repeat the phrase.
"Hed breenst?" you say after him.
"Hmm? Oh yes, hebreeeest," he responds in an attempt to mimic how you pronounced the codeword.
you suspect Maurice is a lizard wearing human skin. you report your findings to Calvin. Calvin is thrilled and suggests a plan to trap him.
You decide to catch Maurice you need to go to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and place some chicken wings in a trap.  It works and Maurice pleas for his life after devouring the chicken wings. You try not to listen as he calls you cruel names in French.
You watch as the helicopter glides low through the misty sky, over the rolling green fields of Ireland.
you hand Maurice over to scientists who begin his dissection immediately. You are awarded a Purple heart for your dedication to Calvin's cause.
The moral of the story: Have you ever wondered where ham comes from? It comes from pigs.