EP344 #1

Posted under EP344 #1, Story On By Chief

a messy bitch, who lives for drama and chaos."
"Well I suppose that makes her a little more interesting than the average whore. So what brings you here anyway?
> You say "I have come to create chaos."
You look around and see no one else is in the room, so you decide to go for it.
> You commit arson.
You run out of the general store and find that the deputy is no longer in the room. Well, no point in waiting around. You set a small fire to start things off.
The sheriff arrives, its Tony, a sneaky guy who spent your life savings on a rare copy of Sister Act 2. He shouts to everyone that the museum is on fire and that nobody should go in there.
Well, that went better than expected.
You are emboldened to set fire to another building, and so you do. It seems like the whole town follows your lead and begins setting fire to the buildings around them. Soon, you've set off a chain reaction of fires that will destroy the whole town.
The Kool Aid Man bursts through the wall and yells, "Oh yeah!"  He hands you a Ball of Arsony. "This should help!" he exclaims as he continues to hand out flammable balls to the townsfolk. Soon, everyone has a fireball and the destruction begins in earnest.
The fire department shows up, and all the firefighters start crying. The building continues to burn.
Moments later the fireball you are carrying burns your hand. "Ow!" you yelp, dropping it. The fiery orb rolls under a truck and into the gas tank.
Bill Nye, who predicted this, tells you so. You bail from the impending explosion. A few others follow your lead, but most ignore you and continue to go up in flames.
"Always leave time to get away from the inevitable explosion."
as the townspeople roast, Bill Nye tries to tell them fire safety tips. Nobody listens.
You've put Sweet Apple to the torch, but unfortunately, while doing so you've burned off most of your eyebrows and others have noticed. "The Holy Flame!" they cry.
you proclaim loudly "Remove your eyebrows for they keep you from seeing the truth!" The crowd bows before you and one presents a 19 dollar Fortnite card. "This should cover the cost of your stay," he says.
you tell your followers to drink deep of the aid man. They do so and catch fire. But it's OK because they are filled with the holy flammable thoughts. Including their wigs.
You laugh as they run about like human torches and spread your message.
You set the world on fire. It is quite a sight to behold.
You feel the warmth on your skin as your eyebrows grow back in. They're a bit thicker than they once were and that's not the only thing growing back.
You're changing again, but this time into something else. Something new. Something Better.
The flames part long enough for you to see your beloved floating in the afterglow.
You beloved is famous hollywood  squeal after all
The world fades to black and you awaken in hollywood with all your burns and disfigurements completely healed.
The moral of the story: when the PLOT demands it, you can recover from anything.