EP342 #3

Posted under EP342 #3, Story On By Chief

Tiger in a car,
But tigers can't fucking drive.
You should have stopped him.
"I don't know what the fuck you think you are doing, but I told you to stop!"

The driver of the car gets out and points his pistol at your head.
You reveal your troubled past to the driver.

"I'm sorry about that, but it's just... shit."
Tiger reveals his troubled past to you. Tiger says "fuck it
You level up and gain the following powers:
Select 1 Physical Quality or Improvement and 1 Mental or Focus Perk
You revert back to your original state.
You are transported to nowhere in particular.
You learn the power Sand Wedge and the power to cheat on your wife. Except she's dead.
Damn these dreams getting worse...
You meet Tony, a guy who doesn't like his new legal guardian, Cory. He wants you to get his previous guardian, Jason, back. If you can get him to return you'll both gain power over him. He doesn't reveal that part, the bastard.
you ask Tony if he would like to go for a ride. He agrees and gets in the passenger seat. Immediately you find yourself out of Your Dream World...
Wait, that can't be right. You are dreaming, how could you leave it?
You turn to Tony and say, "gib power of attorney plz."
He gets out of the car.
You get out of the car to chase Tony down but are captured by Joe Exotic. His Animal Abusement Park is the hot new place in Kansas and he has a whole staff that is willing to help him... hurt people.
> You reveal your troubled past to Joe Exotic.
"That is horrible to hear."
You kill over 10,000 men, women, and children. You... wait... no you didn't.
"At least you have your purity."
you become the star attraction of the Abusement Park.
You have power over your life...
From www.amug.com

If you think this game sucks you have no soul.
one day one of the workers takes their eyes off you when you clean their cage and you rip their arm off.
"I smell fear..."
The last thing you see before you shift back is the man's face replaced with sheer terror.
you realize that your dad is not looking for you.
Tony breaks into the tiger cage containing you and sets you free.  You both escape the Abusement Park.
"Where are we?"
Now what?
You and your good friend Tony are sitting in a police cruiser, in the drive through of Wendy's.
As the police officers wait for their food, you use this opportunity to kick out the glass and escape.
You wake up to a phone call with your mom on the other end.
"Hello, son."
You're laying in your bed, the covers disheveled and your stare vacant.
you look around your room and cant believe what you see, small toys, model starships, and an MLP poster.
"Honey, you're living in 2012 now, you're too old for that stuff,"
it's Mom.
you say to your mom "shut up mom, my cutie mark is real, I'm going through a phase, it's cool."
"Oh honey, I miss your father...
> You say "I can't replace Dad, Mom. Stop bringing him up."
"Just let it go, he's gone honey, and he won't ever return."
You argue back saying that he promised to always come home to you.
The moral of the story: don't make promises you can't keep.
"I agree honey."