EP341 #2

Posted under EP341 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Aaron Kumo, a male cheerleader who is back at it again at Krispy Kream. You perform an epic series of backflips but accidentally destroy the Krispy Kream sign during the maneuver. Chaos ensues.

The next day you wake up in your trailer and find that the sign has been replaced with a giant inflatable penis.
Your furious boss call you into his office. 

"What did you do?" he asks. "I'm going to fire you."
"But I didn'tâ€Ĥ"
"No buts kid, you're fired!" He slams his fist on the desk.
You say, "Oh mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind hey mickey."
You go to grab your bag, but he struggles throws you out of the store.
"But the sign..."
He puts his hand in front of his face. You're escorted out by two security guards.
You storm out disgruntled and head to Cheerleading practice where you find that Jason, a man who has taken your spot on the cheerleader Squad, he also Hates Birthdays and Olive Garden.
After practice you go to Olive Garden, and instead of the Host being cheerful, he is as miserable as the cook. After waiting for 15 minutes, you're finally seated.
you see a large Olive Garden sign hanging over the bar and know what you must do. You get a running start and wind up a triple lutz. You feel your ankle snap as you crash into the sign and through the window. As sharp piece of glass slices into your skin you realize what you have done.
The waiter uses a breadstick to stop the bleeding.  You then pick up the Olive Garden breadstick box and walk into the kitchen.
On the way home, You find three tickets to Hamilton. The sellers ask, "Do you have anything to trade?"
You say "I've got some sick cheerleading skills. They, in fact, can pay the bills."
The man says, "Well show us what you got."
You start jumping and flipping and a huge crowd gathers around.
Someone calls the police and your taken away in handcuffs.
Your Hamilton tickets are confiscated and your case goes to trial. When the police process your, your ticket to Hamilton is found in your pocket. The judge tears up the three tickets because he did not realize that they were the most valuable things in the world.
you sue the city for discrimination and malicious destruction of property.
You win the case, but immediately have to pay a huge sum for back taxes. During the time you spent in jail, you fortunately aren't fired from your job as a Dentist's assistant.
You got back to your dentist office and see that one of the crooked cops that put you in jail is getting a tooth removed.  You triple backflip with a twist your foot right into the officer's mouth. The judge shouts, "No evidence of malpractice on your part! You're free to go!"
The moral of the donut: shit happens.