EP340 #3

Posted under EP340 #3, Story On By Chief

You are Tony, one of AIPD's hosts. you have decided to go on holiday to the greatest country on earth, England. once in London, you find that there is this weird shop called TK Maxx.  so you walk into TK Maxx and go up to one of the shop assistant and ask them " why is this place Called TK Maxx ?" and the Shop assistant says " oh your a American, well in The UK TJ Maxx is used to avoid confusion with another Shop called T.J Hughes".  Tony is shocked by this fact and goes crazy. he then starts shouting at all the people in the shop, and they start trying to calm him down.
The shop assistant offers you some tea and biscuits. You take these things as an invitation to buy something else from the shop. After a while you get tired of waiting for the shop assistant to do anything useful and just leave the store without buying anything.
you go outside and cant believe how fast the buses arrive in London. You can feel the craziness creeping in. After jumping up and of the bus five times you decide you had enough fun and went to the local pub. once inside you notice an interesting game called darts being played .
You go up to a group of men playing darts and reveal your troubled past to them. One of them asks you what your 181 Ratings were based on. You reply " Sadam's throwing a party for me cause I killed his dad and Compare the U.K to Sweden in rifle technology" They reward you with a pint of the local beer for your troubles. The men and you then become friends and spend the rest of the night playing darts.
Jason, your legal guardian who wants to make sure that you stay out of trouble, comes to drive you home after deciding you've had too much to drink.  You say no and lean in for a kiss.
When you wake up, you find that your skin is three shades darker and Jason has a hat with Cat in the Rat embroidered on it.
you fish through your pockets and find a handful of darts and the following items: 1. dollar, 2. Useless British pounds, 3. Vermincelli, 4. Unknown Chewing Tobacco (Contains: Mercury, Tar, Harz, Turpentine and Brown Paint)
You feel sure that you've just bought something illegal.
you pack your lip with a big piece of chewing tobacco and vermincelli. You ask Jason what he wants to while here in London.
You quickly learn that the only thing he really wants to do is visit the English Tea Shop. He says it would be great to go right now so you readily agree and hop in his car.
You level up and gain the following chewing tobacco related powers: 3 1. Teeth of Gold 2. Spit out Snakes 3. Taught to Fly by a Rain-bird 4. Chief of the Gaberdine Tribes Of Nepalese Hill People Last Night: "He Finished That Tea Set, Then Kept Ordering More. Then He Said That..."
At the tea shop, you start to enjoy your idea. the two of you spend hours sipping from fancy cups and stuffing your faces with strange but delicious treats.
The delicious treats are so good you order more and before long you gain 100 pounds.
Unfortunately Jason drives in his drunken state and can't stop from crashing the car. You die instantly on impact.
Or you would have if you didn't gain 100 lbs. You wake up in the hospital and the doctor tells you, "It seems the fat you gained surrounded all of your vital organs.  If you didn't gain all that weight so rapidly, you'd be a dead man for sure."
It's time to evaluate what you've learned.
You have unlocked the following secret Achievement: "Begins With A & Ends In a Hard Roll"
as you think of your achievement your stomach grumbles. You say "I could go for a hard roll"
You have unlocked the following secret Achievement: "Rimus' Rumblings"
as you think of your achievement your stomach grumbles in an angry manner.
The moral of the story: Eat more pizza.