You are Lelouch Lamperouge, a charming young man. Valentine's Day has arrived, but you aren't sure who your valentine date should be. There's a number of girls that have a crush on you including: C. C., the pizza-loving witch, Kallen Stadtfeld, the hot-headed mech pilot and Shirley Fenette, the shy swimmer. C. C., Kallen and Shirley all want to be your date. You aren't sure what to do.
What will it be? Will you go with Shirley or C.C.? Or maybe you should choose between them both?
> You decide to date both of them at the same time.
You decide to go with both of them at the same time. The two girls are very happy for you.
You have a disgusting appearance and smell that won't go away until you learn about safe sex. You're in your class when you suddenly have a nose bleed.
Why is this happening to you?
This is not a happy day.
> You ask Kallen to help stop your noseblood.
"Kallen Stadtfeld, would you please help me stop my nosebleed?"
Your eyes meet and the two of you have a moment of sexual twnsion.
"T-Thank you, Kallen."
Your face becomes flush.
"W-What happened to you?"
Kallen walks closer to you and looks at your shirt.
as she leans over to look at your shirt you say "Kiss me I'm the plague" as you pucker your lips in anticipation. Kallen is taken aback by this; she blushes and says "I'm not going to kiss you".
Kallen ignores your requests and walks out the room.
You hear the school bell ring as class ends.
Good, maybe now the world will end.
Except it doesn't.
The world keeps on turning and you're left alone, but now something else has happened.
You go to sexy nurse's office to have your nosebleed looked at and when the nurse bends over, you can see right down her shirt.
"What the hell?" You think.
You quickly lose focus and the bleeding returns with a vengeance. Your life is saved by the bell ringing and you leave her office as school is let out.
> You say "Mom! You look hot in that nurse outfit. Are you cosplaying as an Anime character?"
"Lelouch, your grades. You better not be wasting away your potential future."
"I'm taking a break. I'm not studying! I'm just thinking about some things!"
you ask your mom for something to stop the bleeding and she hands you a handkerchief. On closer inspection the handkerchief is a pair of panties.
"What the hell? Wait....were these mine?"
You laugh nervously and say "Yeah, I was just wondering if you were doing ok..."
Your mother is taken aback.
Shirley enters the nurses office with a rash. To be on the safe side she dyes her tongue pink and pees into a cup before entering.
"You can stare all you want. I'm on my period."
You ask your mom about the birds and the bees so you can get rid of you prepubescent stank.
Your mom and sister take turns telling you all about period sex. It's not as interesting as the violence you watch, but it's still important to know.
You notice your foul smell disappearing. The doctor asks you more questions and thanks you. He leaves with the handkerchief you found in your underwear.
"I'm getting a new handkerchief." You say as you exit the office.
You ask Kallen out on a date and say, "Look who doesn't smell anymore, baby!"
You and Kallen go out. The two of you are pretty much perfect for each other.
Two weeks later, you're eating in a resturant when your nose starts bleeding again.
> You ask for a breadstick to plug your nose, but the waiter says, "Sorry, only one breadstick per customer at the Olive Garden."
You stare at the breadstick in disgust before asking, "Can I have a few more?".
"I'm sorry sir, but we only have one per customer."
Kallen says, "I need one as well" and winks and as you both laugh hysterically.
You and Kallen have a lovely time at the cinema talking about anything and everything.
The next morning, you wake up and find a note from Kallen on your pillow.
You read the note:
I had the best time with you as well. I loved every second of it.
I would love to do it again sometime.
Wish we could.
Unfortunately, I start class in a few hours.
I should be back by the time you wake up.
Kallen gives you a pair of streaked underwear and says "something to remember me by."
You reply, "oh, yeah."
You notice a breadstick next to the trash. You take a bite out of it and plug your nose with the crumbed breadstick.
The moral of the story: Sometimes, you just have to suck it up and eat whatever the hell is thrown in your direction.
In all seriousness though, you miss Kallen.