EP331 #1

Posted under EP331 #1, Story On By Chief

You're Rick Kaminkski, a fabled meme-smith of old. Long ago you heard a prophecy that one meme would be born to bring death to the meme empire for a thousand years. You fear the time has come when you hear a terrible rumbling. A voice in your head says it's not true, but your gut tells you otherwise.
You look toward the sound of the rumbling and see an army of zombies marching towards you. They are led by a huge zombie with a chainsaw who is dressed like some sort of insane carnival freak show character.
You decide to take a picture of the huge zombie and make a meme out of it with the caption: "Great Emperor of the Dead, I am your overlord, Lord Rick Kaminski."
> You rickroll the zombie.
The zombie stops in its tracks as it begins to fall down. You snap a picture of it with your phone, and you are surprised to see that it is able to still still stand up.
You caption the photo of the zombie midfall: "wow, that meme is really running this marathon"
You quickly send the photo to your friends. You see that the tweet has been liked and retweeted by several accounts that you do not belong to.
The zombie stares into your eyes and before you know it you are taken to the Kingdom of EggWegWayAga.
At the palace, you meet the Emperor of the Kingdom, Lord Byron.
> You order Lord Byron to pay fealty to you, the overlord.
The Emperor says he needs to think over it, and to go outside and play with his egg-laying hen.
You insist that you are serious, and Lord Byron asks if you have any gold.
you say "I have a shiny gold coin, but I would bestow it upon my most faithful servant"
You take out your phone and take a picture of the gold coin in an attempt to scare Lord Byron into submission.
> You lord Byron cowers before you and lays an egg.
Lord Byron immediately drops to one knee and cries while a loud egg is laid.
You demand another answer from Lord Byron who says he will obey your every command.
You quickly post the picture to Instagram with the caption: "my most faithful servant is lord Byron, a gold mining ventureriest"
Many people like and re-tweet it. Not only that, but one of your followers is a miner.
you demand Lord Byron give you a tour of your new kingdom.
You are lead down into the mines where you meet your new employees.
You see a kooky band of miners lined up and they one by one introduce themselves: Kursk Pasta, Nolzender, and Derailleur.
You tell them that you want them to mine for gold and dig tunnels in a precise pattern.
you detail the following intricate pattern for the mines to be laid out in:
You tell your men to go to work.
After a couple days have passed, you check on the progress of your mines.
Peering into the mines, all you see is darkness.
> You demand to see the gold.
Seeing as you are lord and master here, you demand you see the gold mine.
Your men bring out a small burlap sack. You open it slowly to reveal a fair amount of gold inside.
You level up and gain the 5 following Overlord powers:
You announce to everyone in the mines that they will reap the benefits of your leadership.
After a few days, you announce that all miners in your kingdom will get an extra day off once a week.
As overlord you make the following decree:
As you walk through the mines with your new overlord powers, you notice a tunnel that hasn't been dug quite as deep as the rest.
You make an example out of Kursk Pasta for not digging deep enough.
You learn that he was moonlighting as a robber and had stolen the horses in the town of Nolzender.
The overgrown bandit is hung for his crimes.
The miners revolt and are led by the ghost Kursk Pasta. They demand pay and safety in the mines.
You, as the lord of this kingdom, order a full military response to put down the miners' revolt.
Jeremy Renner, a human who has travelled back in time to Find the Fire stone, aids the miners' revolt.
His solitary rebel-hood has obviously made him a lot more radical in his beliefs. He takes it upon himself to train the miners in weaponry and combat.
The Battle of the Mines begins.
you declare the mines unsafe and have the entrance collapsed.
The king of Nolzender is furious at this act of aggression towards his people.
His complaints go unheard.
The moral of the story: You need to defend your mines, or the king of the mines will rebel and march on your kingdom.