EP330 #2

Posted under EP330 #2, Story On By Chief

you are a man who wants to discover the dankest memes, nuff said."

You don't even know where to begin with this, but you do have one question for him.

"So…what is your name? And why are you here? I mean we're not exactly on good terms right now." You ask.
"My name is Dendrin and I am here to see Master Ebon.
Master Ebon gives you the divine cockring. Master Ebon says "You must deliver this to the land of the Shadow Guard. Give it to a shadow with purple skin shining brightly, an eye patch, and a small cyst on his forehead."
You meet He-man, the first meme, and he takes you into the internet world. You have a three-way with He-man and the second meme, female Domino, and later have sex with the third meme. You break your legs falling out of a tree while trying to stop laughing.
you push the kid from "Mac and Me" out of his wheelchair and steal it. You turn it into a super cool hovercraft. You go on the Internets. You win instant fame when your picture is Photoshopped onto the famous Bill Gates "I Want a New Beggin's Game"
> You scream "All of your base are belong to us!"
"Hey, do you think I could get a career in professional wrestling?" You ask.
"Huh?" He asks, confused.
You then speak to him like Macho Man Randy Savage.
"Or maybe I should be a professional wrestler? You know, like those guys?"
You swing a punch and then do a leg drop.
"Ha ha! I'm good! I'm good!"
You look down and realize you are pregnant and you give birth to a new meme: Rick Astley.
You live the rest of your life happily ever after, and become a legend.
Your mother tells you that your new meme is old and not dank at all.  You give it up and continue on your quest.
You head to the only place you know to find dank memes, the meme warehouse. You see a bunch of people there, but only a few of them are normal. The rest are Purple Skin, Many Eyes, and they tend to be very dainty.
> You look for the shadow with the cyst on his forehead.
You find a purple skinned shadow with a large,operating cyst on his forehead.
you unsheath your dongus and show him the Divine cockring. you say "I believe this is for you"
The shadow makes eye contact with you and says "Thanks. My name's Dracul"
Dracul grabs the cockring.
"I'll make this worth your while"
Dracul teaches the art of crafting dank memes.
He shows you the fine art of meme smithing.
He trains you in the ways of the shadow, so you may become a force for dankness like Rick Kaminski.
you work tirelessly in the Meme Forge, folding the meme over a thousand times. You name your magnus opus: "Purple Haze".
You drink heavily at an after party.
You find a corner and pull out your dick. You begin to furiously cream inside your pants, against the corner.
You become a living meme at the expense of your pride.
You spend the rest of your days a broken man, with no friends, no lovers, and no life.
> You your only friends are dank memes.
You find yourself on a plane to the Great Meme Peasant Revolt of 1488. (the year is unimportant) You do not know why you are there, but you expect it will be important.
You head to an open field and see many of the Internets finest meme crafters: Rickrolling, Shitposting, Rage Comics, Lord knows what else.
Then you see them. Hundreds of coordinated peasants armed with pitchforks. They appear out of nowhere and surround the plane.
You sick your doge on them.
They are merciless. The peasants are chopped apart. Not a single meme survives the vicious battle.
Then, the peasants begin to turn their pitchforks on you.
This is your swansong.
You run to the corner of the field and do what you do best: furiously masturbate.
You stroke your dong for all the peasants to see.
You lift up your pants and begin furiously dot matrixing diarrhea.
You lay on the ground and laugh until you can do no more.
The peasants look at the picture you have created with your shit: a rainbow animated becameing.
They begin to laugh along with you.
They create a new meme: "Rainbow animated becameing".
The peasants become productive workers.
The Internets are revolutionized.
The moral of the story: You should always shit yourself in your swan song.