EP328 #2

Posted under EP328 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Jon Snowman. 
Mister Fister is coming. 
Everyone is scared. You know you do, but it's not the same as actually being in danger.
Jon Snowman: I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!
Mister Fister, The Sinister Sister, breaks down the door and enters the room.
Jon Snowman: No! He can't hurt you!
The Sinister Sister: What? Are you a girl?
Jon Snowman: No...I'm not a girl. I'm just your son.
> You ask your father, Mister Fister, why he abandoned you.
You tell your father all about how you almost drowned. He is glad you nearly drowned, as it makes him sound more impressive.
> You say "You never loved me!!!"
Mister Fister: True.
Jon Snowman: But...you saved me!
Mister Fister: Who said I didn't?
Mister Fister asks you "wanna go swimming?" You agree. He takes you to a secret place where there's a small pool. You go one area of the pool and jump in, coming out at another area where there's a small sand beach.
> You your father tries to drag you back into the water and drown you.
You refuse to go back in and get your father angry. He gets in your face and starts to scream at you for disobeying him. The next day you are really sad and miss your friends.
> You make plans to run away during the night.
You know coming back is not an option, you have to find a new life somewhere else that doesn't involve being under your father's control or worse, his wrath.
You lock yourself in your room and wait.
you pack your favorite things: An old blanket, Some t.v. dinners, A whistle, and A jar of pennies.
as you try to sneak out during the night, your father hears you and screams "YOU GETTIN A WHOOPIN BOAH!"
You run to the wall, but he has put a lock on it from the inside.
You have no choice but to whistle for help.
You blow your emergency whistle and the Kool Aid Man bursts through the locked wall and yells, "Oh yeah!" He grabs your father, and throws him to the floor.
The KA Man says "You can thank the boy for saving his life."
Your father says "Yeh, well he is in for it now."
Mister Fister pins the KA man to the ground and starts choking him. You take this chance and smash your jar of pennies on Mister Fister's head. The jar breaks open and the pennies roll everywhere.
Mister Fister screams in pain and runs off.
As your father stands up and prepares to finish you off, you can hear sirens.
> You escape from the house through the hole the KA man made.
You run into the woods, away from the house. As you make it to a hill, the KA man stops you and asks "Where do you think you're going Snowman?"
You say, "I'm running away to find a new home, one where I am wanted!"
The KA man says, "We could do that, but I don't think you'd like it."
The KA man throws you a whistle and you catch it.
> You read the engraving on the whistle, it's reads:.
Kurt Austin - The Kool-Aid Man
You think to yourself "I'll be damned, my idol is the leader of The Chaos Squad."
The KA man says "I'll be your new father. You are now Jon Aid."
You ask "What's the Chaos Squad?"
The KA man says "We are a team of misfits working against the system. We are trying to prevent a complete breakdown of order in our society."
> You and Kurt watch from a distance as the police engage in a shootout with your father, Mister Sinister.
He says "Too late to run now son, but don't worry I got you."
Kurt walks up towards him and takes out a small pistol.
> You witness the Kool Aid murder your father.
Kurt shoots your father, his body goes rigid and he falls back.
The KA man says "He is dead."
You celebrate and run into night Kurt. He wraps his arm around you and says "I'm off to save the world, you stay here and continue making lemonade."
You say "How?"
Kurt laughs and says "With this!"
The KA man hands you a  whistle and a small card with an image of some weird chanting on it. He says "When you blow this, all the little people will come running."
He kisses you on the forehead and runs off.
The moral of the story: You should get the hell out of this town and go do something more constructive with your life.
You blow the whistle immediately.
The little people come running.
You see your friends, in the distance. You call out to them and they begin to run over to you.
You yell "Run Away!"