EP327 #2

Posted under EP327 #2, Story On By Chief

You are Kate Beckinsale, werewolf hunter and owner of a douche club. With the help of Cyber nanorat Cory and Doctor Hershenstein, you plan to create Sex 3.0. The problem is you have no idea what it is but everyone expects you to explain in fine detail what it is all about.

The only thing that can be said for sure is that this project will take years and you don't want to waste any more time on it.
> You hire a Hollywood sex consultant.
It's not like you need to know how to do anything sexual.

You decide to hire a Hollywood sex expert.
You know this person as famous TV star David E. Durie. He is currently on a talk show with his lovely wife. By the time you arrive at the studio, he is already very much in the middle of things.
David E. Durie explains to you that the key to a good sex scene is  confidence and a good sense of humor. The bad guys are trying to stop you from achieving this so they will throw every obstacle in your way.
during sex you tell your partner a joke to break the ice.
This makes David E. Durie's eyes widen in surprise. He then proceeds to look at you as if you are insane. He then begins to leave the set with the security guards and the director.
> You repeat the joke:
During sex, you tell the person you're having sex with a joke to break the ice.
"Why didn't the postman go to the doctor? Because he didn't receive any mail."
You realize the joke did not land and as your are being escorted by police you tell another joke:
"Why was the man stabbed? Because he laughed after he passed out."
This joke is much better received than the last and you make the audience of the TV host and your husband laugh.
David E. Durie orders you to perform a Sex 3.0 scene with his wife in which you and her have sex while he films everything.
His wife is not amused. She feels embarrassed by all this and wants her husband to stop making you do perverted things.
you are overcome with passion and cant stop doing perverted things.
After the scene you tell the director to turn the cameras off because you just realized that you have lost control of yourself and are now ashamed of what you've done.
you get a letter that says you've been nominated for a Sploogie for "Outstanding Sex Scene
During you acceptance speech, you reveal Sex 3.0 to the audience and explain how it's done in great detail: you hire a Hollywood sex expert.
People are fascinated and you make a killing on the stock market when the news spreads that it's very easy to have threesomes.
you spread the news of threesomes and Latex stocks skyrocket.
a group of religious fanatics form a new church and condemn Sex 3.0.
you have Sploogies passed out during your acceptance speech and make a point to say they are the anti-Christ.
> You see a group of protesters outside of your douche club.
You walk outside to see a small group protesting your club.
They are holding signs that read "Sodomy is a Sin" and "Jesus Christ is Lord."
You break out your secret weapon: The Orgasm Ray.  You use it on the protesters.
The ray creates an instantaneous effect on the target. All the protesters are instantly cured of anything that makes them uncomfortable such as hemorrhoids or being asked difficult questions at job interviews.
The protestors lose their uncomfortable shame of sex and become very vocal in their support of your club.
People start lining up to get cured. The media picks up the story that you're curing people of their embarrassing conditions instead of ridiculing or condemning them.
your new craze, perversion therapy, is a huge hit. Birth rates rise.
by the end of the week, you're taking in hundreds of dollars in bribes from governments wanting to get cured of STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
> You demand more money from the government.
You tell the mayor that you want a 50% pay raise. He says he'll look into it.
Your outrageous demands are shut down by the media who criticize your "greedy" attitude.
you go on Morning Wood Today to give an interview explaining your perversion therapy and you blast Regis and Kelly with the Orgasm ray.
Regis: Regis and Kelly are the morning show hosts in your city. They routinely mock perverts and other people of lesser means.
You set the Orgasm Ray to maximum power and blast Regis and Kelly with it.
While they are definitely feeling the pleasure of the ray, the blast is powerful enough to bring both hosts to their knees and they remark how you are 'killing them' slowly.
> You see their shame disappear.
Regis and Kelly's shame disappears. They no longer feel embarrassed by their own actions.
The media picks up on this interesting development and decide to turn the pair of hosts into a joke.
The jokes like this:
Regis: "Hey kids, let's play a game called 'Spot the Pervert'.
Kelly: "I'm in!"
Regis: "You're up, David.
The moral of the story: Once a person has experienced the effects of the Orgasm ray, they can never again feel safe.
You enjoy your new found perversion and people lose their shame around sex.