EP324 #3

Posted under EP324 #3, Story On By Chief

You are Football Man. You just won the Super Bowl. Can't go to Disney. Too much money."
"Oh, I'm sorry," you say. "I didn't mean to offend you."
"It's okay. It was a joke."
"No it wasn't!
People start hating because you have so much football money.  They don't understand that this is your life now and you can do what you want with it.
You hair starts to fall out.  You know this to mean that you are turning evil. You don't care though, you are too busy having fun with your new superpowers.
You gain the following new evil villain superpowers:
Your skin hardens and turns into a slightly green color and you grow a few reptilian wings.
You can control the weather. A lot.
you fly high above the clouds and control a hurricane to hit the happiest place on Earth, Disneyland. You smile as all the children are killed in the storm.
Your happy heretic time comes to an end when the rest of the League catches on to your evil deeds and attack you.
you surge with power as you are awash in the screams of children and gain the following powers:
You can control the minds of the innocent.
You gain the powers of the following League members:
You are a full-fledged supervillain.
> You hold a press conference and come out as evil.
You are the best thing to happen to the League in years. With all the heroes dead, their replacements scurrying home to their families for Christmas, you decide to make a statement.
You announce your next evil initiative: You are going to  takeover the world.
This sends the media into a frenzy.
you know world leaders will be meeting to plan to stop you. you fly to Geneva, Switzerland, and prepare a lot of nasty weather. You also buy up all the nuclear launch codes.
You have a pretty good year. You rampage across the world, bringing death and destruction wherever you go.
> You grow bored with being evil all the time.
You stop your evil actions for a little while. The media goes into a frenzy when they discover that the notorious supervillain, Mr. M, has disappeared without a trace.
You decide to see the most mundane thing you can do to send the media into a frenzy. You walk down the street.
You grab a bystander and hold them at gunpoint. Then, you shoot them in the foot.
The newspapers call you "Mr. Mischievous".
You try something even more mundane. You get a job working in a laser tag arena. It's the most boring job you've ever had.
Then again, it is what you need to do to ground yourself.
You purchase a newspaper and read the headline:
You almost feel like throwing a fit.
All of this just to have giant monster teeth turned up in a rock?
> You plot to destroy Mars.
You decide it's time to move on from your boring life. You want to make a larger impact in the world, not just slowly decay away.
So you come up with a master plan.
> You hold a press conference to reveal your master plan.
You sit in your throne-like chair, wearing your purple and black cape. A hole has been cut in the seat for you. A giant candelabra stands on the table, lighting your way through the night.
You reveal your plan to destroy Mars: build a laser to focus on the Red Planet, and zap it until it explodes. You say you'll destroy any Martians who oppose this plan.
The media eats it up. They love the idea of war.
you charge your wind-powered space laser with a tornado. You fire and the Earth watches in silence as Mars Explodes.
There is cheering, CO
You smile as the Earth beats your record: one week without any sunlight. You like to play with time.
You send the Earth into an Ice Age from the remnants of Mars. You give power to the ignorant, to the downtrodden, and to those who feel that they have been wronged. You give it to them to keep them loyal.
you start the football man soup kitchen and methadone clinic.
With the media on your side, and with them dying for a good war as you've molded them into staunch patriots, what could go wrong...?
You step into the room with giant double doors. They are made of wood, and are painted red. A giant "100" is painted on the front. A large bell sits on the right side of the door.
A man walks out. He wears a red robe with a white star on the front. His beard is long and reaches his chest. He smiles at you.
You swing at his head.
The Football Man catches the punch, and jars your arm. He kicks you once, twice, three times in the stomach, knocking the wind out of you.
He says "I'm you from the future"
You fall to the floor. You struggle to get up, but he pushes you down again, hitting you in the face with his open palm. He offers you his hand, which you grab.
He whispers in your ear: "You've won, but at a great cost. What you thought were misguided patriots were actually freedom fighters. They've gone back to their roots to fight for Martians' independence from Earth."
The moral of the story: not everything you do comes back to you threefold.