EP321 #1

Posted under EP321 #1, Story On By Chief

You are ancient man.  Invent new kind of poem.  Looks like dick and balls.
"Fuck you, I don't give a shit what you think! You can take my head off if that helps you feel better about yourself."
Your tribe is angry at you for inventing this poem. They think you are a witch. 
"I'm not a witch! I'm just an old guy with some stupid ideas!"
They all laugh at your response.
"Well, fuck you then."
you want to scare your tribe for making fun of you, so you decide to write another one of your poems. 
"Got it in one. See you all later."
You get a few minutes of peace before your tribe starts mocking you again.
> You decide to go to the watering hole to perform your poetry.
You go out to the watering hole. You find it disgusting. The mud looks like it hurts, and tastes like it hurts too.
you fill your loin cloth with mud and go back to throw it at your tribesman. One of them looks like he is about to throw a stone at you, but then he thinks twice about it.
"What are you doing?" He asks you angrily.
> You say "Not your mom at the moment, I had her all last night."
The tribesman stops. You did not expect that to work.
"Oh, alright then." He says.
You go back to your dwelling.
> You go back to your tribe and confidently insult them.
You walk back to the village with your mud stained loincloth. The villagers have stopped their work to look at you.
"What are you doing, Uwais?" One of them asks.
> You insult Tony, the only caveman who takes good care of his hair. You tell him.
"Who's that guy with the good hair?"
"That's Tony, he really knows how to take care of his hair."
"Yeah, well how come you didn't give him malaria?"
You take two rocks that if you bang together turns into this new discovery called fire, and you say, "Burn."
One of the villagers was about to throw it at you, but he stops when he sees the fire.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I am showing you how to make fire."
> You tell your best insult joke to the villager.
The man doesn't laugh, but you continue anyway.
"What's the worst thing about growing up in(); a tree? When it gets too tall, you don't know which branch to jump off of.
you invent and go to first "open mic night".  You tell them all about your flame thrower. The man says you cannot just fire flames from your hands. Then one guy tells you to shut up and get on stage.
> You get on stage and tell the audience they are a good crowd.
You walk up the stairs and begin to make fun of the other acts. One act gets angry and throws a spear at you. The others start cheering him on. You run off stage scared.
You run on stage and come up with the best insult to heckle the comedian that attacked you: "If you were a wheel, you would be a hamster."
You sit down next to the home team and hold the spear you threw at you.
you think maybe be prop comic and you go up on stage with spear and chicken. They think you are going to do a joke about chickens, but you tell them about how the cavemen used to fight with spears.
> You insult the funny looking caveman in the front row.
"Hey look it's the funniest caveman this side of the river!"
The man gets angry and stands up.
"I am no caveman, I am a modern man!"
You realize you are being heckled by a time traveler.  You insult him by saying he has no sense of humor. The man gets angrier and runs at you, he pushes you down on the ground and tries to stab you with his spear.
> You relentlessly insult him!
"Oh look it's the caveman with the broken nose!"
The caveman gets angrier and stands on you.
"Shut up!"
You decide to create your own comedy club and call it 'comic freaks'. You invite all your friends that had previously insulted the caveman. The caveman is not amused and stands up. The audience is silent.
The moral of the story: Don't heckle the time traveler, he'll get you for his own.