EP320 #3

Posted under EP320 #3, Story On By Chief

You are Grug, a defrosted caveman from Blueberry tribe. You realize that you are in far time and tribe is gone. People in white coat give Grug funny juice that give Grug thought of ten things:

1) What do I do?
2) Where am I?
3) Why did they take me away?

Grug: "I don't know what to tell you."
you ask for something to eat, and the people in white coats give you A onion RING that you have to eat, when you do, you can't stop running for the rest of the story. Oh yeah you can also run up to the speed of sound.

The next day, you wake up in a cave with no idea where you are. The only thing you remember is the smell of onions and your hunger.
your stomach rumbles so you fashion a spear to hunting. You look outside at the Green Hill Zone and start the hunt. The tribes of deer, boar, puk, and others come. You eat. You sleep. You wake up to eat. And go back to sleep.
A scientist enters your cave and says...
The next morning, you wake up in your chamber, still not sure where you are. The scientist who was here before explains that you have been asleep for several months.
You look to the chamber next to you and see Jeremy Renner, an underrated actor and superhero.  The scientist informs you if you want to be free, Grug must kill Renner. If Grug wants to leave, he must kill Renner. If Grug tries to kill Renner and fails, he will be killed.
you are put in an arena and given the chance to choose your weapon. Renner picks a bow and arrow. you pick an axe. The scientist who is taping you (so they can show you killing your friend on TV) says, "Renner goes for his arrow, but Grug charges forward with his axe."
> You grab the axe and throw it at the scientist.
You grab the axe and hold it in your hand. You walk to the edge of the arena and throw the axe at the scientist. It hits him in the chest and he falls down, dead.
Renner sees this and becomes your friend. The other scientist tells him he can get free if he can disarm the other human fighting in the next match. Renner has no idea what he is talking about.
> You begin to run at the speed of sound.
You run to the door and fly out of it so fast that you break the sound barrier. You leave the stadium and fly into the sky.
as you begin falling to earth you have to pick a place to land. Your choices are:
1) You can fall right into the stadium and land on a table in the middle of the ring.
2) You can land in front of the door where you came in.
3) You can fall into a large crowd ofpeople.
4) You can fly into the woods and hide out for a while.
You can fly into the woods and hide out for a while.  Eventually your are visited by Charlie Sheen, who has been Hired by the Scientists to Teach you about everything good about The Modern Day. They feed you well and give you an array of Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, candy, and other things to choose from.
You go through a long series ofQuests and trips that teach you the things to come.
you go on a quest with Charlie to score some "China White". Charlie says he can smell some nearby. He leads you deep into the city, where a gang of Chinese people are selling Yellow Devil. Kill them all to gain some.
You decide Charlie no cool and you don't want to kill Chinese so you go back to science lab and free Jeremy Renner. He was very happy to see you. You decide to go to the castle and live with him.
you knock on the castle door and are met by Billy Evans, master of Toe-Fu. He lets you in and tells you that he was watching you on a new type of camera they made and you just became an honorary member of the Nerds. He shows you to your Room and leaves.
Grug look in mirror and Grug think "Me?  Nerd?"
You stay at the castle for the next few years and have many adventures.
The moral of the story:In the end,Grug learned that Grug need friends too.