EP318 #3

Posted under EP318 #3, Story On By Chief

You are Clint Eastwood, you have just wrapped filming your first major Film "Ben-Hur". You talk to your agent about the next movie in your career. The movies your agent offers you are:

"The Good, the Bad and the Ugly", "Forrest Gump", "Unforgiven" and "Born on the Fourth of July". You decide that you want to do all three.
> You begin filming Unforgiven and Forrest Gump simultaneously.
You decide to film both films at the same time. This would be a great opportunity for you as it would allow you to work with some of your favorite actors from each film.
You request the cast for the film includes your favorites actors:
Tommy Lee Jones, John Travolta, Gene Hackman, Delroy Lindo, Amanda Peet, Courtney B. Vance and Danny Glover.
> You begin to film a sexy scene with Amanda Peet.
You are needed on set, so you walk to the location of the scene. You notice Amanda is already on set and looks at you and goes back to what she is doing.
You head to the craft services table and see Cory, a guy who told Misa that you were in Ben-Hur.  You a sonic knife that allows you to cut through time to spread cream cheese on bagel.
You remember the hot pussy you had on top of that bagel 5 hours ago!
You enter a trance like state and wander off set until Amanda stops what she is doing to approach you.
Amanda makes a comment about your bagel and asks if it was good. You don't reply, you instead look at her in a way you probably wouldn't with any other woman.
> You ask Amanda, "Are you feeling lucky, punk?"
Amanda giggles and tells you that you must be one of the most interesting people she's ever met. You reply that it is nothing compared to her. Amanda coyly replies with a "maybe".
> You say "Are you ready for our kissing scene?"
Amanda replies that she'd be on her way to set in a second if that's what you want. You reply "That wasn't a request".
you look to the cameraman and say "ACTION!" then look to Amanda and say "Smile".
Amanda complies with a big smile and the two of you begin to kiss.
Your dentures fall into her mouth and she immediately stops smiling and gasps.
Amanda pulls away and says "Oh my god....you just spit out my teeth".
you apologize and say "your dentures feel so right in my mouth" while touching her face and then attempt to remove your dentures again.
Amanda backs away and says "I'm not playing around anymore. You've got The Ring."
You reply "The what?".
you inform Amanda "its called Ringu in Japan.". She replies "No it isn't" and walks away.
You had forgotten that you had put the ring in your mouth instead of your pocket. You approach Amanda who is walking away and ask her for the ring.
You spit the ring right right into her face.  You also spit your dentures which hit the ground.
She screams "Oh my god you just killed me".
You tell her to calm down and give her the evil grin which she is familiar with.
> You say "cut! Take 7,000 S"
Amanda is still upset, but fortunately this doesn't delay production.
The next week you have to film a scene in front of hundreds of people at a rodeo.
> You are nervous, because this is your first rodeo.
You are in the crowd during the rodeo event when you see a calf being roped by a small person.
You wrestle a bull and then propose to Amanda.
Towards the end of the event you propose to Amanda and she says "Yes".
The crowd goes wild.
Amanda says has something to come clean about and takes off her disguise.  Amanda is actually Tony in a dress, an actor who is Amanda Peets Sex Double who acts in every Sex scene.
The entire cast and crew claps and Amanda looks very embarrassed.
The real Amanda comes out to a standing ovation.
The director shouts "cut!"
You and Amanda embrace.
You win the academy award for best old/young kissing scene for this movie.
The next day you visit your old home and find it has been destroyed by the city.
You old farm house has been knocked and over and replaced with a highway.
The only thing that remains is the smoke house and a small mailbox indicating an old driveway that pokes along a random road.
You never recover from this, you hang yourself in your closet.
The moral of the story: If you want a good time, go to Hollywood.