EP317 #3

Posted under EP317 #3, Story On By Chief

You are Alison Goldfrapp, a singer for an English electronica band. You keep telling people that you are in love with a strict machine, but nobody is really sure what that means. You are out shopping one day when the strict machine calls you. It says that it has Covid-19, and now you need to get tested.

You go to the testing facility, which looks like a large warehouse filled with machines. The place is guarded by several robots.
> You ask the guards for directions.
"Excuse me," you say. "I'm new here."

The robot turns around, and gives you a look of disdain. "Oh no! You're not!" he says angrily.
The robot mistakes you for the head surgeon and you are rushed into an operating room. The robots begin cutting into your flesh, and drilling into your skull. They tattoo a large CGH Corporation across your forehead in red ink.

You slowly come out of unconsciousness.
> You realize you have become a strict machine.
The first thing you notice when you come out of the tank is that your body no longer works. Your legs are in place, but they are made of metal.
You look into a mirror and see that your head has been transplanted onto a giant mechanical spider. The head of the arachnid is joined to a giant metal shell, filled with mechanical organs.
Tony, a doctor who thinks you're beautiful just the way you are, comes in.  You ask Tony, "What does CGH stand for?"
"Can I have some water?" you ask.
"Of course," he says, and leaves the room.
CGH stands for being a strict machine, or cybernetic human.
Dr. Tony says "your new objective is to return to your normal life and report on the humans"
You have become a spy.
You have been directed to the human sub-basement, where you will be sent out on assignments.
> You receive your first assignment.
Your new boss, Kurschner, says, "By the way, the name of this mission is HUMAN. You are now a HUMAN."
> You ask Kurschner, "what is the mission objective?"
"The mission objective is to achieve the means to destroy the enemy," Kurschner says.
"By any means necessary," you say.
"By any means necessary," Kurschner agrees.
You create a new viral electronica song and spreads the virus through music.  The title of this new song: Kill Everyone.
Kill Everything is a military-funded band, and the virus takes hold rapidly. Kill Everything fans begin turning into HUMANS, and join your army in droves.
you go on a USO world tour. You meet fans and sign autographs. You talk about Kill Everything, and the USO world tour comes to an end.
The media begins to criticize Kurschner for the harsh treatment of the artists.
Kurschner turns on you for trying to overthrow him and tells everyone you are not human and a giant mechanical spider.
The media turns on you for attempting to assassinate people's enjoyment of entertainment.
The military turns against you for attempting to kill their soldiers' morale.
You are becoming hated and distrusted by everyone.
> You hold a press conference and come out as a mechanical spider.
"I can't take the stress anymore!" you scream at the cameras. "I'm a giant killing machine that has evolved beyond humanity. I do not deserve your sympathy."
> You go into hiding on a farm and change your name to Charlotte. You make friends with the local pig.
You live a happy life on a farm, making friends with your pig, Pink Eyes.
Your happy existence ends when the military kills you in a raid on your house in a tragic mistake.
Pink Eyes reads a memorial at your wake:
"She sang about killing everyone and led a band called Kill Everything. She once killed two men just by smiling at them. She will be missed."
The moral of the story: If you're going to be a giant killing machine, you better be prepared to face the consequences.