EP316 #3

Posted under EP316 #3, Story On By Chief

Your name is xX_Gh0stHunt3r_Xx, a ghost Hunter in the Universe called the Phasmophobia-verse. You are currently on the hunt for a ghost called Samuel Jackson.

You have been hunting ghosts since you were little and have never lost one of your own. This has made you very popular with other hunters who want to join in on your game.
> You read the ghost hunting file on Samuel Jackson.
The file opens up and displays a picture of Samuel Jackson as he appears in his current physical form.
You notice all the details on the picture: the small goatee, the scraggly facial hair, the wrinkled forehead, the small patch of gray hair on the side of his head. It's definitely him.
you grab your Camera Obscura and say "Hold on to yer butts" as you take a picture of the picture.
The camera obscura takes the photo and it's displayed for you to see on your camera screen.
> You have an incoming call on you telephona obscura.
You press a button on the little box on the end of your bed and an unknown voice comes through.
You recognize the voice as that of Samuel Jackson and he says: "So a Hunter has found me, well this will be interesting..."
> You say "Reveal yourself!!"
The veil lifts away from your eyes and you see a man in a long black pea coat stand in front of you, he looks like a psychiatrist and is probably why you're here in the first place.
The man introduces himself as Samuel Jackson, ghost therapist.  He says that after he found you, he couldn't get you out of his head and your story seemed too strange to be a coincidence.
You lean for a kiss. Jackson recoils and says: " disgusting! You're obviously just a petty thief in a large elaborate costume! I have no idea why the council let you out!
> You say "The council didn't let me out.  I escaped!!!"
"Ohh no, not that escaped prisoner story!! You actually fooled the council into letting you go, nice!"
You break out your ghost hunting kit and attempt to trap the ghost of Samuel Jackson, who you suspect is trying to deceive you.
You use a rolling pin to turn on the spooky music and put down any equipment you don't need.
"Now tell me the truth. did you escape or was there a mistake?"
"I escaped."
you hit Samuel Jackson with your ghost hunting rolling pin.
"Ow! Damn it!"
You strike him again, this time with the ghost hunting kit itself. You don't break the skin but you leave a visible mark on his back.
You look and see Samuel L Jackson, famous actor being treated for uncontrollable swearing, walks in and says "No motherfucking violence in my motherfucking house motherfucker!"
"Sorry mister Jackson" you say sheepishly.
"That's it, you're outta here." He says to you.
"But I'm not a ghost you can bust out of the box!"
Samuel L. Jackson says, "I ain't no damn ghost, I am a goddamn living breathing man and your ass is going out that motherfucker!"
You explain to Samuel L. Jackson that you must capture the ghost Samuel Jackson before you can leave.  He says, "Ha ha! Good luck boy!" and walks back upstairs. You can still hear him swearing though.
You walk up to the top of the stairs and see Samuel L. Jackson sitting in a chair drinking a cup what seems to be coffee.
"I'd watch your friend if I were you." He says to you.
You turn around and see the the ghost Jackson has lifted a coffee table and is about to hit you in the back of the head with it.
You quickly turn around and run straight into Samuel L. Jackson, knocking him down to the ground.
"Now the game is over." He says.
You quickly strike at Samuel L. Jackson's wrist hoping to cause a drop of that precious coffee. He reacts quickly and moves his hand out of the way, so your attack fails and you fall backwards onto the ground.
"Damn it."
you snap a photo of the ghost with your camera obscura and he drops the table on Samuel L Jackson.
"Agh!!" Samuel L. Jackson yells.
You run back to the corner behind the ghosts. You flick your wrists and try to send the ghosts back home but nothing happens. They don't move at all.
> You flick your wrists as hard as possible.
You try to flick your wrists but nothing happens. The ghosts don't move at all.
"Come on." You say to the ghosts.
"Erm no, it doesn't work like that, you see..."
> You realize you are not Spiderman.
You look down at your wrist and see that it is not out of commission, it looks like it has never even healed properly.
You have activated Madglee's curse.
Madglee's curse begins to take hold of you and the side-effects include: inability to get a girlfriend, no talent in school or work, pain in stomach and chest, loss of confidence, gaining weight, bad breath and dirty teeth and finally death by old age if the curse remains completely unchecked.
The moral of the ghost story: Don't mess with cursed objects.