EP315 #1

Posted under EP315 #1, Story On By Chief

You are a crazy elephant who wants to become a doctor. On a routine lab shift you see a handsome new lab assistant walk in with his girlfriend. You can't help but notice that they both have the same mole on their face, and when he sees you he immediately starts flirting with you!
> You the girlfriend is jealous of you.
"Hey!" you say angrily as you grab her hand and pull it away from him. "I'm not interested.
you break up their squabbling with a loud trumpet.
"Will the two of you stop it!" you cry. "I'm trying to work!"
> You try to focus on your experiments, but you are terrified of mice.
You quickly glance over at the cage to see a teenage boy holding a mouse in his hand.
"What an apt name, 'Mou'..." You mutter to yourself.
you bring several samples with the following effects to the assistant for injection:
Mou - completely fearless, strong aggression against all other animals known to man.
You decide that this first batch is tainted and try to "dispose" of Mou, considering the experiment a failure.  But as you reach for Mou, it bites and sends you into a fearful frenzy.
"It's feeding time!" says the assistant. "The following two animals have not eaten for 7 hours, please observe."
You stare in disbelief at the second two animals, as they begin to devour the flesh off skeleton of the teenager.
you press the intercom "bring in the next teenager"
The experiments continue in the same manner, with you injecting the animals with different types of blood, while observing their effects.
You get a call on the lab phone from Pablo Elephanobar, the boss of a cartel who wants a big batch of your new drug.
You quickly agree and ask if you can come over to pick it up, paying him well for the blood.
you find a small brown envelope on the table as you come back from pick up the drugs.
you get a Special delivery of a large crate from Reindr0b inc, containing the following 10 pieces of experimental and controversial lab equipment:
- Chemicals - A box with several flasks, beakers, funnels and a few other odds and ends
- DNA Sampler - a large machine built into several small tables, used for manipulating and sampling genetic material
- Gases - A large, pressurised container for storing and studying gases
- Liquid Nitrogen Refrigerator - a large refrigerating unit used to store and manipulate liquid nitrogen
- Liquid Silicone Fire Extinguisher - a large fire extinguisher made from silicone
- Oven - A large, powerful convection oven designed for rapid heating
- Super Glue Gun - A large gun used for bonding materials together instantly
- Television Studio - A large, well equipped television studio complete with cameras, screen and sound equipment
You sort through the equipment, placing a few of each kind into the large suitcase you have prepared.
You quickly throw on a hoodie and walk into the master bedroom, turning on the t.v, and begin to watch the local news.
> You say "It's time to go wild!"
The news makes interesting viewing.
You walk through the silent building, heading towards the staff room. You find the dining hall deserted, as you scarf down a bowl of cereal and read thedaily mail online.
you wonder where everyone is and go to investigate.
You find Meredith in the staff room, clutching a mug of coffee and staring out the window. She looks quite nervous and you put an arm around her.
Your jaw drops and you look outside and see Mou with an army of lab critters.  You can tell they have no fear and must have stolen the tainted experiment from your lab.
"Meredith, you have got to be kidding me!?"
You stare at the army of unearthly creatures marching towards the building, as Meredith turns around and you see pure horror in her eyes.
you superglue Meredith to the ceiling for safety. The next few moments are a blur
You stumble into the kitchen, grabbing a large knife, only to find Meredith has already stolen it.
The end of the gun explodes as you punch concrete with 4 bullets.
you rely on the only thing you have, your own body. You wade out into the field of lab critters and start stomping and slapping.
You hear a terrible noise, like a jet engine revving in reverse and you feel a large impact on your back. You tumble as a clawed hand grabs you, rolling to your knees.
You see Mou has grab you using a Steven Segul technique and could easily kill you.  Mou whisper into your ear, "You are a failure as a man. Mere animals have a better instinct than you!
> You use your Liquid Silicone Fire Extinguisher on Mou, freezing him to death.
You unfreeze Meredith using the fire extinguisher, and drag her bumbling along to safety.
you say to Mou "I remember you were inside, a good Mou, and I never forget." as you hug Mou out of their frenzy.
"Even though you are a monster, your heart is in the right place and I know we can find a way to fix you."
The moral of the story: Even the most dangerous monsters have a good side.
You walk out into the hallway, following the sounds of screeching and banging to the auditorium.